Dick: Mary, I think I've figured out why we're so incredibly tedious together.
Mary: We're not tedious together.
Dick: Mary, don't you see? We used to be new. Uncharted territory. But now I've read every page in the Mary book.
Mary: Is that right?
Dick: Mm-hmm. Sadly, yes.
Mary: There are volumes about me you don't know.
Dick: Really?
Mary: Yeah.
Dick: Face it, Mary, I've checked your footnotes, combed your stacks, thumbed your index. There are no surprises left.
Mary: Is that right?

August: I can't believe you just at there like everyone else. You didn't even try to help me.
Tommy: August, ever since I've known you, you've always been so together.
August: What?
Tommy: Well, it's just everything you say and everything you do and everything you are is so perfect, and up there was the first time I ever saw you actually be human. You know, that's what I'm looking for in a woman.
August: Perfect? Me? I just got a C- in phys ed 'cause I can't lift my own body weight. I bite my nails. I have a lousy sense of direction. And this nose is not exactly Cindy Crawford's.
Tommy: You're right. It hooks a little to the left there-
August: So, I am not perfect.
Tommy: Certainly are not. Good. But why stop at the nose? I mean, you're- Stop at the nose.

Mary: Read 'em and weep.
Leon: Good bye, underwear.
Bug: Leon, you still got your socks on, buddy!
Leon: My feet get cold.

Mary: So, what do you want to do tomorrow?
Dick: This. You?
Mary: This!
Dick: Oh, Mary! [they hug] [fart] Was that you or me?
Mary: Does it matter?
Dick: No.

Harry: I'm sorry, little spider. If I could trade places with you I would. God, this is so hard! [toilet flushes]
[Tommy plays Amazing Grace on the bagpipes]