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‘A Dick on One Knee’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

3rd Rock from the Sun: A Dick on One Knee

216. A Dick on One Knee

Aired February 16, 1997

Sally meets an attractive French man who asks her to marry him.

Quote from Sally

Dick: Lieutenant, aren't you forgetting something?
Sally: You're right, the wedding announcement.
Dick: No, no. The mission.
Sally: Dick, this is my mission. It's what women are supposed to do. Get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.

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Quote from Harry

Mary: Oh, Dick, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Michel's the one who got arrested.
Sally: They got Michel! [all gasp]
Mary: Yeah, the guy from immigration. It was an ugly fight. The French tend to kick a lot when frightened.
Dick: Immigration?
Mary: Yeah, they said they'll be sending him back to France in the morning.
Dick: Of course, he's from another country!
Sally: That's why he's an alien.
Tommy: Alien from France.
Harry: Not a quivering purple tube from a distant galaxy sent to study humankind. [Sally slaps the back of Harry's head] What? I said "not."

Quote from Dick

Dick: 44 across. "Men are from Mars, women are from..." Let's see, five letters starting with V. Ah! "Vegas."

Quote from Sally

Sally: [on the phone] [holds wedding cake topper] See, this is the third set of little people you've sent me, and once again they bear no resemblance to me or my future husband. Get it right!

Quote from Sally

All: You're what?!
Sally: I'm getting married.
Dick: Well, why are you doing this?
Sally: Two reasons, I'm a woman, and he asked me.

Quote from Harry

Dick: It happened so quickly. How did he know it was time to ask?
Sally: He's a man, men know these things.
Dick: But I'm a man. Am I missing something?
Tommy: You? Never.
Harry: No flies on you.
Sally: Dick, trust me, I know what I'm doing. Besides, I've dated more than any of you.
Harry: But by no stretch of the imagination have you been the most promiscuous.

Quote from Dick

Sally: Trust me, High Commander, Michel's a great guy. Plus he's loaded, look. He's giving me $5,000, he wants to marry me so badly. $2,000 upfront, the rest when the Deal's done.
Tommy: As a gift?
Dick: No no, Tommy this is what's known as a dowry. It's an old-world marriage custom and Michel is from there. Maybe if we hold out, he'll throw in a goat or two.

Quote from Sally

Sally: And the best part of everything is I get to have a wedding, you know? Big white dress, long veil, crappy band. Ah. It will be a day I'll always remember. Okay, there's work to be done! Harry, I want you to find me something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, go! Tommy, get me a deal on flowers!
Tommy: Flowers!
Sally: Dick, your job is to sit back and just get overwhelmed by the whole process, okay?

Quote from Harry

Harry: Sally! I got it, everything you asked for.
Sally: Oh, what a relief!
Harry: Something old: a radial, courtesy of the alley. Something new: a tub of Vaseline with an unbroken seal.
Sally: Sweet!
Harry: Something borrowed: a cup of sea salt from Miss Dubcek. And finally, the piece de "resistenance". Something blue: a Lifesaver! Minty. [holds tongue out]
Sally: That's perfect, Harry. [takes Lifesafer from Harry's mouth and sticks it to his forehead]

Quote from Sally

Sally: And you don't think I'm ready?
Mary: Well, I just think you should wait.
Sally: Until when I'm middle-aged and I have to walk out of the bedroom backwards so my husband won't see my wrinkly butt?
Mary: Oh, stop.
Dick: Mary! That's what you do!

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