Sally: Spaghetti's ready.
Don: Oh, ho. I've heard about this spaghetti. Oh, um... Sally, uh...
Harry: Looks great.
Don: Sally, aren't you gonna drain the spaghetti?
Sally: What?
Don: You know, get rid of the water.
Harry: [scoffs] What do you want to do that for? The water's my favorite part.
Tommy: I mean, quite frankly, I don't even like the spaghetti. [grabs spaghetti in his hands and dumps it in Don's bowl]
Sally: Yeah. Yeah. Besides, I mean, even if we did like the spaghetti, separating it from the water would be time-consuming and dangerous.

Dick: Now then, you have one hour to complete your exam. There's no cheating, there's no talking, and there's no way anybody will be able to answer number four, which, uh, I'm sorry to say, is worth half the exam.
Caryn: What? But, Dr. Solomon, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose-
Dick: I'm sorry. I said no talking.
Caryn: But, all I'm saying-
Dick: And begin!

Don: You've never been to Bach and Frankels? Oh, it's great. They got all kinds of stuff for the kitchen, you know, they got, uh, the garlic presses and cookie cutters and melon ballers.
Tommy: They have actual melon ballers?
Sally: Mm. And all this time I've been ballin' melons with the inside of my fingernails.
Don: You should try to get there as soon as possible.
Sally: All right. So, you want some grated cheese on your spaghetti? [Sally presses her nails against a block of cheese]
Don: I'm... good.
Harry: Yeah, I'd love some.
Sally: I know you do.

Sally: You guys, this place is ridiculous.
Tommy: What?
Sally: You got a paring knife, a boning knife, a carving knife. I got a tool that can do all these things, it's called a knife.

Nina: You've got to tell me what you want for lunch.
[Dick snaps out of his fantasy]
Dick: Huh? Huh? What?
Nina: What do you want for lunch?
Dick: Uh, uh, uh pizza. And hold the buttocks.

Harry: I, uh, think you're sittin' in my seat there, Tommy.
Tommy: This is where I always sit.
Harry: Well, not according to the little pumpkin place card, it's not, no.
Tommy: Then that's a mistake.
Sally: There was no mistake, Tommy. You sit here. I felt that the conversation would be more lively if the people with the least in common were sitting next to each other.
Tommy: There's only three of us.
Sally: Well, it's at the smallest dinner parties that you make the biggest discoveries about your closest friends.
Tommy: Sally, I've been to parties. This isn't a party.
Harry: Whoa! Are these plates made out of ice?
Sally: That's right. Instead of washing them, you just put them in the sink and let them melt.
Harry: Yeah, see, this is a party one of them one of them crazy meltin' plate kind of parties.

Tommy: Here you go, Sally. Every damn pine cone within 20 miles.
Sally: Okay, well, you know what? Uh... I actually decided to go with fresh herb centerpieces.
Tommy: You don't understand. We climbed trees for these things.
Harry: [holds up bandaged hands] We fought squirrels.
Sally: Oh, come on, guys, don't be upset. We'll just make 'em into puppets for those long winter nights at home alone with the kids.
Harry: You can tell that to the freakin' squirrels!

Dick: Oh, Don. Mary's furious with me, and I don't know what I did wrong.
Don: Oh, don't sweat it, Dick. It'll blow over.
Dick: I told her I had a sexual fantasy about Nina.
Don: Good god, Dick! You couldn't make a dumber move than that.
Dick: And then I told Nina.
Don: I stand corrected.

Tommy: Hey, Sally, these crab-and-mango autumn rolls are really moving.
Sally: What are those used toothpicks doing on the plate?
Tommy: People put them there after they eat the autumn rolls.
Sally: Okay, so why did I hollow out a summer squash to make a toothpick cushion if no one's gonna use it, hmm?
Tommy: Relax, everyone's having fun.
Sally: Yeah... at my expense. I mean, you work so hard to make everything perfect, but do they care? No. I mean, has anybody even noticed the- the crouton turtles in the olive oil ponds? Huh? Or- Or that the napkin rings are made out of edible flowers? And no one, not one single person, has even mentioned the herb centerpieces! [grabs a woman's head] Smell the perfection! Smell it!

Mary: Harry, I think I need a glass of chardonnay.
Harry: All right.
Mary: Thanks.
Harry: And here you go. [drops a pine cone in the glass]
Mary: Is that a pine cone?
Harry: Well, yes, it is.
Mary: Can I get one without a pine cone?
Harry: Not as long as I got three bushels of them back here, no, you can't.