Vicki Dubcek: So, Dr. Albright, how are things treatin' you at the hospital? I'll bet those HMOs are just makin' you crazy, huh? [chuckles]
Mary: I'm not that kind of doctor, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: So, you mean, like, you're, like, a veterinarian, or what?

Vicki Dubcek: All right, now, this here is a picture of a piece of cheese, but in French it's [non-French accent] Fromage. Fromage. It's in French.
Harry: Hello, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, hey, Harry. Hey, I was just teachin' little Eric some French.
Harry: Do you know how to say in French "I love you, and I should never have let you out of my life"?
Vicki Dubcek: No, but I know how to say, "boot."

Tommy: All right, Sally. The first step to curing your shoe addiction is to eliminate the money source.
Sally: Of course! I'll kill Dick.
Tommy: No. Uh, I was talking about cutting up your credit card.
Sally: I can't do that.

Vicki Dubcek: Hey, y'all.
Harry: Vicki Dubcek? Is that you?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, who else would it be?
Harry: Well, I don't know. It's just that you look so, uh... What's the opposite of trashy?
Dick: Not trashy?
Harry: Not trashy.

Sally: Oh, my god, Vicki?
Tommy: Wow, look at you. Why are you so cleaned up?
Vicki Dubcek: Well, to tell you the truth, I hit rock bottom. I was drinking. Oh, yeah. And I was freer with my body than a medical school cadaver. But then along came little Eric Travis.
All: Oh!
Sally: He's so little.
Dick: Motherhood certainly seems to have transformed you, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, boy, I'll say. You know, I was so out of it, I actually thought I was impregnated by an alien. I mean, come on!
All: Come on!

Nina: You are a pig! [enters]
Dick: What's going on?
Nina: One of your friends is here to see you.
Dick: This is very important. Is he literally a pig?

Dick: Guys, I got good news and bad news.
Sally: What's the bad news?
Dick: The Big Giant Head is here.
Tommy: What's the good news?
Dick: There is none.
Harry: Well, then, why did you phrase it like that?
Dick: I don't know.

Dick: [laughs] Well, sir you know what they say, "Heir today and gone tomorrow." [laughs] Please don't vaporize me.

Dick: Harry, what are you doing in Vicki's bedroom?
Harry: Well, I'm just helping Vicki teach the baby French.
Dick: Est-ce que c'est vrai?
Vicki Dubcek: I don't speak French.
Dick: Je veux que tu partes maintenant!
Harry: Mais je dois lui dire que j'aime ici.
Dick: Êtes-vous fou?! Elle appartient à la grand tete geante.
Harry: La grand tete geante. [spits]
Vicki Dubcek: Did somebody say, "discotheque"? I thought I heard somebody say...

Sally: [on the phone] Yes. A large pepperoni with mushrooms. Can you hang on a second? [checks to see whether Tommy can hear] Hey, you know that shoe store across the street? Can you just look in the window for me? Oh, what- What do they have on sale? Oh, those are nice. Can you get a pair over here in 30 minutes or less? Because I'll pay you a little-
Tommy: [hangs up] What are you doing?
Sally: I was ordering a pizza-- half-pepperoni, half-buckles.