Dick: Mary? I'm just curious. What would you give America on a scale of 1 to 10?
Mary: Oh, I'd give it a 10.
Dick: A 10?
Mary: Why? What would give it?
Dick: Oh, it would be up there. A 7 or 8.
Mary: 7 or 8?
Dick: It's not set in stone. Wow me.
Mary: Oh, Dick, there are places in this world where you would go to jail or even worse for giving your country a 7 or an 8.
Dick: Really?
Mary: America gives you so many freedoms.
Dick: Fine. I'll give it a hard 8.

Tommy: Who, whoa, whoa. What's with the new shoes?
Sally: They're not new. I got 'em four hours ago.
Tommy: Harry?
Harry: The equality leader has decided that there will be no competition in dress. If one of us gets new shoes, we all get new shoes.
Sally: I'm down with that.
Tommy: Nice job, equality leader.

Dick: Please rise for The Pledge of Allegiance.
All: What?
Dick: Yes, the Pledge. Up! Up! Up! And no fancy alternate wording. I want it preformed exactly as it appears on my laminated bookmarker. And begin.
Bug: Wait. Where do we look?
Dick: Uh... pair off and look at your partners.
Pitman: Don't- Don't we have to look at a flag?
Dick: Uh, yes. Of course. Who has a flag? No one brought a flag to class?
Leon: Caryn has a flag on her pants.
Dick: Oh, great. Uh, Caryn, please remove your pants and pass them to the front of the class.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon, I'm not gonna remove my pants.
Dick: Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. That would be degrading. Just get up on the desk.

[Sally is wearing a dark gray "Mao suit" and shirt along with red high-heeled shoes]
Sally: Hurry up. Harry's daily address is about to start.
[Tommy climbs on the roof in the same outfit at Sally, including the shoes]
Tommy: I don't like this.
Sally: Oh, I do. Ever since I came to this planet, I've had to obsess over what to wear and how much to eat and how to fix my hair. But all of a sudden, there's order again and all my decisions are made for me.
Tommy: But we're losing our individuality.
Sally: Why do you say that, number 1258?
Harry: Citizens of America, I am pleased to announce that things have never been more equal. [imitates crowd cheering] Enough! I have installed intercoms throughout the apartment to better facilitate communication. No matter what room you are in, I will hear you. Or you can communicate with me on any and all issues of equality- [falls over] Uh--uh--uh--uh And no more shoes! We will bury these shoes! That is all.

Dick: Tommy, was the name of the ship that brought us here called the Mayflower?
Tommy: No, I think it was called the Z-5000.
Dick: The Z-5000-flower?
Tommy: Uh, no, just the Z-5000.
Dick: Oh. Too bad.

Harry: Next! Next! Hello, citizen. How may I help you?
Tommy: I need toilet paper.
Sally: Sorry. Today we are distributing potatoes.
Tommy: But I really need toilet paper.
Harry: Well, we've got sandpaper.
Tommy: Fine. I'll take a potato.

Dick: You know, America is such an enigma. If you're not born here, you have to take a test to live here. But most of the people who were born here would fail that test as miserably as I did.
Tommy: So then maybe to be truly American is to be ignorant of America and to take it for granted at every juncture.
Sally: Oh, my God, you guys. Do you know what this means? The greatest Americans in this country are sitting on this rooftop.