Tommy Quote #103
Quote from Tommy in Guilty as Dick
Tommy: I've cold called, I've direct mailed. I can't afford a pay-per-view special. Nothing works.
Man: This isn't my problem, buddy.
Tommy: Well, just help out an incredibly screwed kid and buy a chocolate bar.
Man: If I bought every stupid thing that came to my door...
Sally: Tommy, forget it. The guy's not buying anything.
Man: ...I'd be living up to my pledge to help every kid who came to my door. Cash or check?
Sally: How 'bout both?
Tommy: Oh, come on! That is just so cheap! God! [Tommy and Sally walk off]
Man: I really want some candy!
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Guilty as Dick’ Quotes
Quote from Harry
Tommy: You don't need guilt to get anyone to serve you. We proved that when we were selling candy. All you need to do is remind people they like sex.
Harry: Oh. Wouldn't it be scary if sex and guilt were connected? [all laugh]
Sally: Sex and guilt connected!
Dick: Harry, you're an idiot!
Harry: I know, I know!
Quote from Sally
Dick: Look at my foot. It's one big boo-boo.
Harry: Dick, you sound pretty pathetic.
Dick: Is it pathetic to sprain your foot worse than anybody ever in the history of the world?! Sally?!
Sally: Sorry, Dick. But you know nothing about earth pain until you've been a woman, okay? One week every month, I feel like I got a pair of pliers in my pants. You got a boo-boo? I'm in the National Guard of pain.
Quote from Dick
Dick: Go on, doctor. Give it to me straight.
Doctor: The ankle looks great.
Dick: Are you sure?
Doctor: Yes, you're all better.
Dick: [sobs] Don't you think you should break it and set it again just to make sure it heals properly?
Doctor: No.
Dick: Doctor, you don't understand. The moment I sprained that foot, my life went from VCR to VCR plus! You've got to help me!
Doctor: Dick, the ankle is healed.
Dick: I won't be treated this way by your heartless HMO! I demand control of my treatment options! Because it's not the length of our time here that matters, it's the quality of our lives! And if you're not qualified to break my foot, then by God, I'll find a doctor who will!