Dick: 10% is a minority. We've got to go with the majority, the average.
Tommy: Oh, okay. The average family of 4 lives in a 3-bedroom residence.
Dick: We're going to have to move.
Sally: You better tell Dubcek.
Harry: Oh, she's going to be upset.
Dick: No. I'm sure she'll be fine. Mrs. Dubcek!
Mrs. Dubcek: [o.s.] What?
Dick: We're moving!
Mrs. Dubcek: [o.s.] Like hell you are!

Dick: And this area, which I've designated X is the guest suite, which opens into Y, creating a lovely area for entertaining, Z.
Pitman: Is it cable-ready?
Dick: Does the walk-in closet have ample storage space?
Pitman: I don't know.
Dick: I'm just telling you, it does.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon, does the university know that you're using your class time to try and sublet your apartment?
Dick: Just for that, Caryn, you're going to miss out on this unique opportunity.

Mary: So, Sally, do you like it here?
Sally: Oh, I love Willow Glen. It's like no place else on earth.
Mary: Oh, except Oak Bridge, Willow Brook, and Glen Brook.

Mary: Oh, I almost forgot. I got you a housewarming present.
Sally: [gasps] Mary, thank you. Oh, it's wonderful! What is it?
Mary: It's a wind chime. [chimes sound] You put it in the window, and the wind rushes through it and makes a lovely sound.
Sally: [silences chimes] Sound? As in "noise"?
Mary: Yeah.
Sally: Well, it's far too pretty to take out of the box. I know. I'll just use it to store under the sink.

Dr. Liam Neesam: [enters] Take your seats, please! Just because I'm a little late doesn't mean you shouldn't be ready to learn. Now... who knows the answer to question number 4?
Dick: Well, who are you?
Dr. Liam Neesam: I'll ask the questions, thank you very much.
Mary: Oh! You must be Dr. Neesam.
Dr. Liam Neesam: No. The answer I'm looking for is "marsupial." Please concentrate.
Mary: Uh, uh, no, no, no. You don't understand. I'm Mary Albright. This is Dick Solomon. We're both professors here.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Well, in that case, you can't possibly take my class. Please leave.
Dick: But- But this is her room.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Well, then you leave me no alternative. I must leave. Auf wiedersehen.

Dick: So that's the university's idea of a hotshot professor?
Mary: Oh, they say he's quite brilliant.
Dick: Well, I say he's quite weird. He certainly doesn't fit in around here.
Mary: No, no, no, no. He's too loud, too colorful, too interesting.
Dick: Exactly. Thank you.
Mary: Come on, Dick, we could use a little eccentricity around here. I mean, it's getting a little dull, don't you think?
Dick: A guy could take that personally.

Tommy: Well, it is her problem, 'cause we're doing great.
Harry: Fantastic.
Dick: Couldn't be better.
Harry: I'm completely miserable.
Tommy: I hate it here.
Harry: Kill me now.