Dick: Excuse me, it's after 6:00, you can give my chipmunk the pain shot now.
Man: Dr. Solomon, I was going to.
Dick: Oh, good, go ahead.
Man: Just a few minutes.
Dick: Well, please, it's after 6:00. It's after 6:00. I don't see why he should have this pain.
Man: Sir, I will get to it in a minute.
Dick: It's time for his shot, you understand? Do something! He only had to hold out until 6:00, and it's past 6:00. He's in pain. My chipmunk is in pain. Give him the shot, you understand me?
Man: You're gonna have to behave.
Dick: Give my chipmunk the shot!

Harry: The rabbit comes out of the hole runs around the tree, winks at the sailor, finds God and voila... A perfect straight knot.

Tommy: Harry, I need your opinion. Read my "Dear Sandy" letter. I changed some of the specifics so nobody knows it's me.
Harry: "I have a problem, my girlfriend, I'll call her Betty, wants me to ask her to the dance. I, being a wealthy, Korean businessman..." This is crap! Pardon my Korean.

Sally: What's that?
Harry: Sandwich.
Sally: What's in it?
Harry: Lettuce.
Sally: I'm gonna have to search that sandwich. Lettuce, bread, what's this? [sniffs] Mayonnaise?
Harry: So?
Sally: Mayonnaise has eggs in it.
Harry: Eggs are not meat.
Sally: Well, they would be if you didn't kill them for mayonnaise. I'm gonna have to destroy this contraband. [stomps on sandwich]

Harry: Whoa. Ah, what's that on your shoe?
Sally: Mayonnaise.
Harry: No no, no, it's leather. Your shoes are made of leather and leather shoes come from leather cows.
Sally: Okay, listen, easy there, hot rod. Let's not get crazy about this. Maybe I got a little carried away. Here, Harry, have your sandwich back.
Harry: I think Dick might like to have a little look in your closet.
Sally: No!

Dick: Oh, the salad bar is fantastic, Mary. You know, I don't think we'll ever get tired of eating this way. Beets, cauliflower, seasoned croutons, plain croutons... Did I mention beets?
Mary: Yeah.
Dick: Yeah, and the beets, they are so nice.

Dick: You ordered surf and turf and they brought you steak and lobster. Uh, waiter!
Mary: Dick, that's what surf and turf is.
Dick: I thought it was water and grass. Mary, how could you? How could you do this to Chippy?
Mary: I'm not eating Chippy.
Dick: Oh, not now, but where will this carnage end?
Mary: Dick, sit down and eat your beets.

Dick: Look at me. I am 100% animal-free. Nothing was killed in the making of these garments.

Sally: Sir, following your pointless and stupid orders, I have rid this house of every animal product. [sobs] My shoes.
Dick: Good work, Lieutenant.
Harry: Sally, are those all your shoes?
Sally: Yeah.
Harry: Uh-huh. And you're quite sure of that?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Every shoe you own?
Sally: Yes, yes, yes!
Harry: Oh, really? Then how do you explain these? [Sally gasps] While completing my merit badge in water conservation, I found these taped to the inside of the toilet tank?!
Sally: I've never seen those before in my life. Give 'em back to me!

Dick: Lieutenant, you won't be needing those anymore. As of today, I am issuing animal-friendly foot gear.
Tommy: Flip-flops?
Dick: Mm-hmm, they are very stylish and they make the most delightful slapping sounds.
Sally: You like slapping sounds? I'll show you slapping sounds.
Dick: Put them on, Lieutenant. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm taking these shoes to a cow pasture to give them a proper burial.