Mary: [car crash; cat squeals outside] That must be them. Okay, let's get this thing straight. We are not gonna let them keep dragging us into their insanity.
Don: Damn right! This magnificent rottweiler's taking off the choke chain starting right now! Follow my lead.
Sally: Hey, Don.
Don: Sally.
Sally: Miss me?
Don: [blubbers]
Mary: Don!
Don: Aw, shut up!

Mary: Tommy, where was Harry?
Tommy: A freak show. You know, bearded ladies, Siamese twins... the usual.
Mary: Why won't anyone tell me anything?!
Dick: I'm sorry, Mary. Things have been a little crazy, and I haven't exactly been myself. I hope you can forgive me.
Mary: Well, Dick, I- I don't think I can.
Dick: What do you say you and I go down to Blascott's? I'll tell you the whole story over a warm glass of brandy.
Mary: Oh, that sounds nice.
Dick: Great. Let me just change out of this diaper, huh?

Vicki Dubcek: Harry, I couldn't help but notice the way that bearded lady was lookin' at you. Tell me the truth. Did anything happen between the two of you?
Harry: Vicki, a man gets awful lonely on the road. And I can't say that I wasn't tempted. But every time I came close, there was just one thing that I couldn't get out of my mind.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, Harry. Me?
Harry: No. She had a beard.