Sally: Damn! A wrinkle! I've peaked!

Dick: The truth is, time measured in years would have no significance at all if a second-rate sun hadn't pulled this planet into the little suck party we call gravity, causing everything on it to wither and die. Thoughts on that? Bug?
Bug: It doesn't look dyed to me.
Dick: Let me simplify. If a year is not a year anywhere but Earth, what does that make time in the universe? Leon, time is what? Don't think, Leon. Just answer. Time is what? Take a shot. Go!
Leon: Time is relative?
Dick: My god, Leon, you're right!
Leon: My head hurts.

Dick: You know, the light of the moon is so magical. It shows me what you must have looked like so many years ago.
Mary: That was almost beautiful. So, this is your favorite spot. It's so... cheap. I think gray hair makes you look distinguished.
Dick: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair.
Mary: No, I don't think so. Men look distinguished with gray hair. Women just look old.
Dick: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary: Good point.

James Earl Jones: [v.o.] As many intelligent people know, aliens are all around us. This is the story of a band of four such explorers. In order to blend in, they've assumed human form. This is the High Commander. He has assembled an elite team of experts: a decorated military officer, a seasoned intelligence specialist, and... well, they had an extra seat. The earth revolves around the sun, but ask most humans and they'll say it revolves around them.

Mary: Laurie's studying for her doctorate in anthropology. She's considering coming here to Pendelton.
Dick: Well, you've chosen a very mediocre institution, and we'd love to have you.

Mary: Nina, why don't you take Laurie to the library to show her the Inca exhibit?
Nina: Exhibit? It's three coins and a spoon.
Mary: Oh, don't spoil it for her, just take her.

Mary: Oh, will you act your age?
Dick: What has my age have to do with it?
Mary: Like you didn't know.
Dick: I don't know.
Mary: Well, I do.
Dick: What are we talking about?
Mary: All I know is that when I was Laurie's age, I did not appreciate having middle-aged men fawn over me.
Dick: You were once her age?
Mary: Yes, believe it or not.
Dick: Very well. Not it is.

Dick: Well, nevertheless, we have to have them and we have to know how old we are. For some reason, we're expected to act our age, and we don't even know what that is.
Tommy: How are we supposed to figure it out?
Dick: We're smart. We'll guess. How old would you say I am? I'm going to say 35. [Sally, Harry and Tommy laugh] What's so funny?
Tommy: I don't know. It just kind of sounds ridiculous.
Dick: Okay, 39.
Harry: Hello.
Tommy: Come on.
Sally: Keep going.
Dick: 40? 41... 2... 3... 4? Uh 5. Yeah! - 45, okay. 45's fine. Body's broken in. It's still solid. Not too old to have sex.

Dick: Laurie, I was having a discussion with a young man last night, and he said that someone my age was too old to... Well, just too old.
Laurie: That is so typical of our culture. You know, in many ancient societies, like the Incas, age was worshiped and revered.
Dick: That's all I'm asking for. [Laurie giggles]

Mary: Exactly when does puberty end for a man?
Nina: Six months after death.