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‘Dick the Vote’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick the Vote

206. Dick the Vote

Aired October 27, 1996

The Solomons get an introduction to democracy when Harry is mistaken for an environmental activist and asked to run for City Council.

Quote from Harry

Harry: Thank you, fellow Rutherford...onian...ites. Anyway, I'm here because of all you people. Men, women. Of course, if I had my way, there'd be, like, a lot more women. Hey, you know, on any given day, I see maybe one, two women, tops. I want to see more women. Everywhere I go, more women.
Judith: More women in the workplace, yes!
Harry: Okay. Vote Harry S. Solomon. The "S" stands for know-how. I'm sorry, snow-how.

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Quote from Harry

Mary: I can't believe you're voting against your own brother.
Dick: Ha! Just watch me.
Harry: Dick! You're not going to vote for me? Well, that hurts. And I know because I feel your pain. [gives a thumbs up with his left hand] But Harry Solomon is not worried because Harry Solomon knows that Harry Solomon can win. [holds up his right fist, clenching a pencil]
Dick: Oh! How can you possibly win?
Harry: Because Harry Solomon appeals to both sides. [holds up both hands]

Quote from Mrs. Dubcek

Sally: Hey, Mrs. Dubcek. You want a button?
Mrs. Dubcek: Yeah! I'm glad Harry is standing up for good old-fashioned family values. You could learn from this lesson, Sally. Never date a guy if he's not good to his wife and kids.

Quote from Don

Don: Tough luck, kiddo, but your family's better off. You spend your life around garbage, you start to stink.
Sally: I don't like the taste of losing, Don. It tastes like a bad egg. You know, the kind that gives you the burps.
Don: During this election, I've done some things, Sally, some things I'm not so proud of. Did I know better? Sure. But it's this this town, this crazy town.
Sally: Makes you want to brush your teeth.
Don: You're in luck. I'm packin'.

Quote from Harry

Harry: Harry Solomon. I've never seen you before in my life. Hi, I'm Harry Solomon, a simple mind for a simple people.

Quote from Dick

Dick: What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm trying to vote my conscience, and I can't even hear it anymore. I have only two choices for city council. A professional liar and my brother, the joke. Neither of them should even be running for office. There is no choice. My only choice is not to vote at all. Democracy is horrible, absolutely horrible!
Mary: You're so right. Democracy is the worst form of government there is, except for all of the others. And that is exactly why you have to vote.
Dick: No!
Mary: Yes!
Dick: No!
Mary: Yes! If you don't vote, you can't complain.
Dick: Complaining is all I have left.
Mary: The system isn't perfect, but it's important to participate, even if you get it wrong. Just go to the polls and do what you think is right.
Dick: Things were so much simpler where I come from. There's only one Big Giant Office, and whoever outruns the fireball wins.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Harry, I want you to know that I voted for you.
Man: [on TV] And to top off this night of firsts, there was also one write-in vote for a Dr. Mary Albright.
Dick: That self-serving bitch.

Quote from Dick

Sally: I think we should vote for who's High Commander.
Dick: Sure. We're in a democracy.
Tommy: Can we vote for ourselves?
Dick: Of course. I vote for me.
Tommy: I vote for me.
Harry: I vote for me.
Sally: I vote for me.
Dick: High Commander breaks the tie. I win.
Tommy: Wait, wait, wait. Let's vote again. This time I vote for Harry.
Dick: Nuh-uh. This is America. You've got to wait four years.
Sally: That's not fair.
Dick: God bless America.

Quote from Don

Don: Sally.
Sally: Don.
Don: A word to the wise. There's trouble in the park today.
Harry: Trouble? Uh-oh. I better take care of my baby.
Sally: What is it?
Don: Sometimes a wrinkle runs through the city, and it rears up on its haunches like an ugly monkey ready to strike.
Sally: Don, you always have your finger up the pulse of danger. [Don runs away]

Quote from Dick

Harry: Council? According to my civics class, that's government.
Sally: Oh! Oh, this is big. This is big. We do not want to get involved in this.
Dick: This will allow us to get on the inside, see how it works.
Sally: What about our vow not to alter the course of the planet?
Dick: Please. It's only politics. We dive in, master it, grab a few votes, get a little action. Nobody gets hurt. Harry, call those people back and tell them you'll run.
Harry: You're the boss.
Dick: Sally, Tommy, you advise Harry on his campaign. I'm going to register to vote.
Sally: Shouldn't we all vote?
Dick: No. We don't want to arouse suspicion. One in four seems right.

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