Man: Here's a list of candidates and referendums. So you're all set. You come back here in two weeks to vote.
Dick: Right. And how many times do I get to vote?
Man: One time.
Dick: And it doesn't matter that I'm brilliant?
Man: No.
Dick: Have you noticed how tall I am?
Man: We all get one vote.
Dick: So your opinion counts equally with mine?
Man: You got it.
Dick: You're awfully smug for a man who works at a folding table.

Dick: Okay, let's see. For mayor, Heckie Mulligan. Hmm, funny name. I like that in a mayor.
Mary: Heckie Mulligan? How can you vote for Heckie Mulligan? Nina, can you believe that?
Nina: How do you know I'm not voting for mulligan?
Mary: I thought you were a Democrat.
Nina: And why do you think I'm a Democrat? Because I'm black?
Mary: Oh, go ahead, vote for Mulligan.
Nina: I'm not voting for mulligan.
Dick: Wait, I don't understand. Why are you getting so worked up over politics? It's simple. You vote for the best man. The best man wins.
Nina: Or woman.
Dick: [scoffs] [laughs] Wh-- Oh, that's priceless. What, Heckie's a woman?

Nina: I can't believe Dr. Solomon is letting his brother run against Gansmiller.
Mary: No one can dig up the dirt like Gansmiller.
Nina: The man's a backhoe. [off Mary's look] It's a piece of equipment.

Don: Sally, what brings you here?
Sally: My brother threw his head into the ring.
Don: You mean his hat?
Sally: Yeah, sure, his hat. What brings you here?
Don: Oh, the usual. Looking for trouble, making sure it doesn't happen. Punch?
Sally: Take your best shot.

Frank Gansmiller: All right, what do you got on him?
Don: Nothing. He's clean.
Frank Gansmiller: Nothing? Must have something rotten in his past. He's human, isn't he?
Don: I've done every background check personally. There's nothing. It's like he fell out of the sky.
Frank Gansmiller: What about drinking?
Don: No.
Frank Gansmiller: Gambling?
Don: No.
Frank Gansmiller: Bad checks? Tax evasion?
Don: No.
Frank Gansmiller: Pornography? Drug addiction? Bad hairpiece?
Don: No! Zero divided by zero, zip, nada, bupkis.
Frank Gansmiller: Bupkis, huh? Wh-what does "bubpkis" mean?
Don: Nothing.
Frank Gansmiller: Yeah, I thought so.
Don: You know, it's almost as if he were... Amish.

Mary: Don't tell me you're voting for Gansmiller.
Dick: Don't tell me you're voting for Harry.
Mary: Why yes, I'm voting for Harry.
Dick: Then you're voting wrong.
Mary: There's no such thing as voting wrong.
Dick: Yes, there is. You're doing it. You're making a mockery of this whole election by voting wrong.
Mary: It's my vote. I get to use it any way I want.
Dick: What's the point of having a democracy if people go around voting wrong?
Mary: In my opinion, democracy is doing just fine the way it is.
Dick: Well, your opinion is wrong!

Don: We have to talk. Your brother is playing with matches, and that's how fires start.
Sally: I know my way around a hose.
Don: This election could turn ugly, very ugly. I shouldn't be telling you this, but I had to warn you. You're the only thing in my life that isn't dirty.
Sally: A girl can't stay clean forever in a town like this.
Don: Don't talk like that, Sally. You've got a great pair of getaway sticks. Now use 'em.
Sally: Come on, Don. Be straight with me. You owe me that much.
Don: Follow the money, Sally. Follow the money.

Announcer: [on TV] Harry Solomon. How much do we really know about him? He claims to be a family man, but what kind of family? There's no hard proof that the Solomons are linked to the Gambinis, the Genoveses, and the Corleones, but is that a risk you're willing to take? Harry Solomon. An offer you can refuse. Paid for by Decent, God-Fearing Citizens for Gansmiller.
Dick: Don't say that.
Sally: We can't be in the mob. We're from Ohio.
Dick: That's terrible.
Harry: Oh, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick. Dick, Dick. You are so out of the game. That was a gimme. He mentioned my name like 20 times. That was great publicity.
Dick: But he's a liar.
Harry: Dick, let me talk to you like you're a two-year-old. You know how when you see a commercial for Cheerios, and they keep showing you Cheerios, and you really want Cheerios... Do we have any Cheerios?
Tommy: Right next to the Embarrassing Defeat-ios.

Pitman: I'm sorry I'm late, sir.
Dick: What are you doing?
Pitman: I'm kissing your ring.
Dick: I'm not wearing a ring.
Pitman: I'm sorry. Please don't have me whacked.
Dick: Whacked? What kind of nonsense is this?

Bug: Well, sir, we just want to pay you the proper respects.
Leon: Yeah, we didn't know.
Dick: Know what?
Leon: About your family connections, Don Solomon.
Dick: Oh, it's that stupid ad. It's a complete and utter lie. I would hope you people would know better. Good, because I've had all I can take of this election foolishness. [the class scream as Dick pulls a microscope out of his bag] Oh! This is ridiculous! Your political system is a sham! It's nothing but lies and propaganda. Look what it's done to you. You can't even tell who's good or bad or right or wrong. Give me science. At least with physics, you know when you have the right answer.
Leon: I never do.
Bug: Cannoli?