‘Dick Puts the 'ID' in Cupid’
Season 5, Episode 11 - Aired February 8, 2000
Dick is intrigued when Mary admits she sees a therapist. Meanwhile, Sally is horrified when she gets a card from a "secret admirer", and Tommy hopes to lose his virginity on Valentine's Day.
Quote from Tommy
Tommy: So, uh, I was okay?
Tiffany: You're a natural.
Tommy: Really? But in the genetic imperative kind of way, or are we talking style points here?
Tiffany: Both. I gotta go. Take care.
Tommy: W-wait. Wait. So, this is like good-bye and good luck?
Tiffany: Yeah.
Tommy: What a deal! [laughs]
Quote from Tommy
Harry: Hey, Tommy! What do you know?
Tommy: Well... a lot more than I did two hours ago.
Harry: Oh, nothing says I love you like having sex with a stranger the night before you're supposed to do it with your girlfriend for the very first time on Valentine's Day.
Tommy: Yeah, yeah. I'm so thoughtful.
Harry: Yeah.
Quote from Harry
Harry: Hola, Mon frere.
Tommy: Harry.
Harry: So how'd it go?
Tommy: Uh, I think she was a little intimidated by me.
Harry: What do you mean?
Tommy: I think she felt like I had too much experience.
Harry: Aw, ain't no such thing, little buddy. Oh, those two ladies naked?
Tommy: Yes, they are.
Harry: Ah. So, what'd that guy do to deserve the spanking?
Quote from Mary
Mary: Thank you for agreeing to this emergency session.
Dr. Brand: So what happened?
Mary: Dick read your file on me.
Dr. Brand: He touched my things?
Mary: I feel so betrayed.
Dr. Brand: I can't trust these freaks to sit while I take a leak!
Mary: What did you just say?
Dr. Brand: What did you think I just said?