Sally: Hey, here's something weird. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is actually give up power.
Dick: Which is why I am relinquishing some of my power to Harry.
Harry: Whoa, really?
Dick: Since you did such a good job in the hole, Harry, from now on, whenever we're in a hole, you can be the High Commander.
Harry: [gasps] I'm the High Commander of holes.

Harry: Um... Dick remember back at the gas station when you told me to fill the gas can up to the top?
Dick: Yes, Harry.
Harry: Um, does it matter what kind of gas it was?
Dick: No.
Harry: Um, is windshield-wiper fluid gas?
Dick: Give me the can, Harry.

Dick: Oh, what a night. We go out to pick up pizza, we run out of gas, and we wind up stuck in the middle of... [falls] Waah!
Harry: Oh, come on Dick? Dick!
Dick: [o.s.] Harry! I'm down here! I'm in a hole!
Harry: How long you gonna be down there?
Dick: Listen carefully, Harry. You have to get help!
Harry: Okay, I'm on my way!
Dick: Godspeed, Harry.
Harry: Oh, wh- [falls] Yaaah!
Dick: You didn't get help, did you?
Harry: Not yet.

Dick: Boy, Harry, it's a long way up.
Harry: Yeah. I was noticing that on the way down.

Dick: One of us should stand on the other's shoulders. How much do you weigh?
Harry: 130.
Dick: 130. I'm 210. Okay, give me a boost.

Man: Hey, uh, kid, would you take our picture in front of the hole?
Tommy: No, that's my father and uncle down there.
Man: Whoa. Hey, that's his family in the hole. How about you let us take one of you?
Tommy: Of me?
Man: I'll give you three bucks.
Tommy: Three bucks? Okay.

Dick: You know what? This is good. In fact, I've been waiting for this moment since we arrived on this planet.
Harry: You've been waiting to fall in a hole?
Dick: This, Harry, this is the true test of a High Commander.
Harry: I could've pushed you in a hole a long time ago.
Dick: Harry, listen to me. There's only so much air down here. So, before you take a breath, think about whether you're doing it out of habit, or if you really need the oxygen.
Harry: Well, mostly it's out of habit, but- [breathes in through his nose] That time I felt like I needed the oxygen.
Dick: Now, because of the cave in, they have no way of getting us food and water, which we will need to survive. But we'll be absolutely fine, as long as we don't panic. [hits Harry]
Harry: What'd you do that for?
Dick: I had to. You were panicking. [whimpers]

Dick: Well, it's not gonna work. I'm the High Commander, see? And you'll never, ever take that away from me.
You understand? Never.
Harry: What are you doing?
Dick: I'm digging a hole to China. China! China! China!
Harry: [slaps Dick] Now you snap out of it, Dick. We're not going to China today or any other day, all right? Now it's time to face facts. You're stuck in a hole, and you've got to come to terms with that.
Dick: But I can't! [Harry slaps Dick] I can't! [Harry slaps Dick] I'm not made of the right stuff. [Harry slaps Dick] Cut it out. I said I'm not made of the right stuff.

Sally: [clears throat] [knocks on door] Hole? [knocks on door] Hole!
Angus McDuff: What do you want, lassie?
Sally: Well, I just want to say that I'm that... I'm regretful, yeah. That I... That I have regrets, which I'm full of.
Angus McDuff: That was truly hard for you, wasn't it?
Sally: Yeah, yeah, it was hard.
Angus McDuff: Good, cheerio.

Sally: No, wait, Hole. Hole, come back, I- Look, I need you!
Angus McDuff: Oh, so you need me?
Sally: Look, I am a take-charge kind of gal, okay, but I think this time I'm in just a little over my head. So I'm just gonna step aside, okay? You're the expert, and...
Angus McDuff: And?
Sally: And you're brilliant.
Angus McDuff: And?
Sally: Aw, come on, man.
Angus McDuff: And?
Sally: And you're one of the 50 sexiest men on earth.