Adult Dean: When you're 12, it's hard to process the first time you realize your dad isn't good at everything. Or in the case of my son, when he was 8. [scoffs] Stupid John Madden Football. Like that proves anything.

Coach Long: Bill Williams. What you know about camping?
Bill: It's just like going on the road with my band, except more marshmallows, but if you want to spend time with your boy, I guess it'd be okay if you came along as my assistant.
Coach Long: Well, I... I see it as a co-leader situation.
Bill: Ah, let's not get hung up on titles. We're doing this for the boys, right?
Coach Long: Of course. Titles are just words.
Bill: Just words.
Coach Long: Like, uh... "Eagle Scout." "1/16th Cherokee." Just words. [backs out of the room]
Bill: Just words.

Norman: Dean, where you been, man? We ran into these Pixie Scouts, and they were really nice.
Hampton: Yeah.
Cory: One of them didn't have nobody to talk to, so I told her about you. She wanted to meet you. She was wearing a two-piece. [chuckles]
Coach Long: All right, it's getting late, men. Let's go ahead and head back to the campsite.
Dean: But I didn't get a chance to swim!
Adult Dean: I don't think I've ever been so angry at my dad. I knew I shouldn't let it out, but I couldn't help myself, so I turned to him and summoned up all the 12-year-old eloquence I could muster.
Dean: This stinks! You stink! You ruined this trip for me because you don't know what you're doing! You shoulda just let Coach Long be the leader!
Adult Dean: I stood there, waiting for my dad to whoop me for being so fresh or drown me in the lake... Wait a minute. Nobody brought that hatchet, did they? There's no telling what this man might do. [Bill is silent] But he did nothing.
Bill: Coach Long is right. It'll be dark soon. We should head on back. You lead the way, Cliff.

Adult Dean: Thanks to my dad's quick thinking and a $5 bill he slipped to the maître d', that was the night we all got our Music Appreciation badges.
Coach Long: Who's ready for another round?
All: Me!
Adult Dean: It was also the night we ordered our first drinks from a bar.
[Hampton's head drops to the table]
Adult Dean: There's no alcohol in a Roy Rogers, but we didn't know that. We were convinced we were wasted. Maybe it was all that cigarette smoke. [cheers and applause] Or maybe it was because none of us had BM'd in two days.

Adult Dean: But I was not going to give up that easily. I was on a mission to find my own version of the suburban middle-class dream, one my dad couldn't possibly say no to.
Brad: And I got this one for archery, and this one was for canoeing.
Cory: What's that one for?
Brad: Camping. We went on this super cool trip to the state park. We didn't shower or brush our teeth for two whole days.
Cory: Whoa!
Brad: Yeah. And I chopped down a tree with a hatchet by myself.
Cory: [chuckling] Oh, man.
Adult Dean: The Dixie Scouts. Of course! It had everything... the great outdoors, terrible hygiene, and the unsupervised use of a lethal weapon. Couldn't get more all-American than that.
Girl: Hey, Brad. Cool uniform.
Adult Dean: And it appears the ladies love a man in uniform. That clinched it.

Adult Dean: I shouldn't have been surprised that my Dad didn't want me joining Brad's troop. Like a lot of men from his generation, he didn't think we needed to mix with White people to have a better life. But that didn't change the fact that I really wanted this. Lucky for me, my mom was there to save the day.
Lillian: Well, you want to be a Scout, you can join the troop your brother belonged to.
Bill: That's right. We got a perfectly good troop right in our own neighborhood... a Black troop. I forgot all about it.
Lillian: [chuckles] Yeah, I'm not surprised. You were on the road with your band back then, and I used to take Bruce to all his meetings.
Bill: Well, I'm here now, so I'll take Dean, get him signed up. You don't have to worry your pretty little head about a thing. [Bill grabs his coat and then stalls for a moment]
Lillian: Ask for Deacon Loren at the church. He's the troop leader.
Bill: Right. Now you don't have to worry about one little thing. [tap drips] Let's go, Dean.

Dean: Look, Ma. Bruce's old uniform fits like a glove.
Adult Dean: Well, it fit about as well as Bruce's old baseball glove, which I had to attach to my arm with duct tape to keep from falling off.
Lillian: Mm, it looks good, but it's gonna look even better after I take it in. Or cut it in half.

Adult Dean: Spending a weekend in the woods with a bunch of 12-year-olds was definitely not my dad's idea of a good time, but there was no way he was gonna let Coach Long show him up. So before our trip, he broke the bank at the sporting goods store. The man came to play.
Coach Long: Uh, Bill? What... What... What you doing with all that stuff? [Bill is silent] Now, you know I could survive for a week with just a knife, a canteen, and two sticks to rub together.
Bill: Well, you enjoy your sticks. I believe that if you're gonna do something, you should do it in style.

Dean: I'll stay and help with the tent.
Bill: Thank you, son. [points to instruction manual] I refuse to believe that this grinning idiot is smarter than me. [chuckles]
[later:]
Dean: I think that's supposed to be a skylight.
Bill: Well, it's a door now.

Adult Dean: In that moment, all I could think about was what my mom and sister were having for dinner back home.
[fantasy:]
Lillian: Ooh.
Kim: [laughs] Mama, no. I couldn't possibly have one more piece of Dean's favorite cornbread. Not after I ate two helpings of Dean's favorite short ribs! [laughs]
Lillian: Girl, well, I hope you saved some room for a big piece of coconut cake.
Kim: Mmm!
Lillian: It's Dean's favorite. [both laugh]