Jo: Who is this tall drink of sun tea?
Gabe: That is Jim Halpert, he is the co-regional manager of this office.
Jo: [gesturing to Michael] I thought this guy was the manager?
Gabe: Oh, he is. He's the co-manager, and that's the other co-manager.
Jo: Two guys doing one job? We gotta do something about that!

Andy: Got some Valentine's cards for my coworkers and my bro-workers.
Angela: [as Andy is passing her a card] No, no!
Kevin: What, no candy?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Valentine's Day, right around the corner. Erin and I have been on zero dates. So I got her a Valentine's Day card, but I didn't wanna seem "too eager," so I got cards for everyone in the whole office to kind of dilute it a little bit.

Michael Scott: Jo, I don't know how things work in Florida, which from your description sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp, but here it takes two men to do one job, where in Florida it might take one very strong woman to do such a job.
Jim: Whoa, whoa.
Michael Scott: Whoa, whoa!

Jim: I'll take over. Um, what we're doing here, Michael handles more of the "big-picture" stuff, and I handle more of the day-to-day stuff, so together...
Jo: Yeah. I think I understand.
Jim: Alright.
Jo: Each of you is doing half a job.
Jim: No.
Michael Scott: And sometimes I can hardly handle that!

Andy: [almost running into Erin] Whoa-oh, traffic jam!
Erin: Uh-oh, traffic jam on route three!
Andy: [imitating car noises] Beep-beep! Beeooop-beep!
Erin: Beep! Twenty people dead in a pile-up!
Andy: There's blood everywhere!

Jo: Now Jim here is thinking about taking himself out of the running for being manager.
Michael Scott: Really? Aw, that is so sweet of you! But, I cannot accept, because I have been thinking about it, and I think I wanna go back to sales.
Jo: Really?
Jim: Really.
Michael Scott: Yeah. You can take the man out of the salesman, but you can't take the sales out of salesman.

Jo: Well, I think you're both being a little too modest.
Jim: No, I really, really think Michael is better at being manager for so many reasons.
Michael Scott: No, I think I would be bad. I would sleep in my office, and I would sexually harass people.
Jim: Why would you do that?
Michael Scott: I'm turning myself in right now!
Jo: You know, Michael, you have more experience in sales and management, so I'm gonna defer to your judgment.
Michael Scott: Thank you.
Jo: I think you will become the salesman, and congratulations! [to Jim] You're gonna be the new manager of this branch!
Michael Scott: Great! That's great. Congratulations. Have fun signing my commission checks, boss.

Michael Scott: I have to make some sales anyway. Who should I call with my magic sales fingers? [Michael's phone rings] Michael Scott, head of sales.
Jim: [on phone] You gotta do something, man. You can't just sit there.

Michael Scott: [blows whistle] I just got a new account for the gentleman's club in Carbondale. It is called "Curves." I went by there the other day, saw some of the women walking in. Not really my cup of tea. Actually, Kevin, you might like it!
Kevin: Nice!
Dwight K. Schrute: You know, we really don't announce out loud our sales that much.
Michael Scott: Why not? It's part of the sales experience.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's not really 1992 anymore.
Michael Scott: Well, okay.

Kelly: [reading Andy's card] "You brighten my day with the sound of your voice, you bring so much laughter and love, you're everything to me, and I was so blessed when God sent you here to me."
Erin: Geez louise.
Kelly: I know, obsessed with me much?
Erin: Well, everyone got one.
Kelly: What did yours say?
Erin: "Friends are worth sharing a doghouse with."
[aside to camera:]
Erin: It's no wonder that Andy gave Kelly such a romantic card. I can't compete with her. That girl can sing, and dance, and gets all of her clothes at the mall. And I feel like such a fool for thinking that Andy was only going after one girl, cause Andy Bernard is a playboy. And, why shouldn't he be? He's got it all.