Michael Scott: Pam, it is very complicated. There are a lot of moving parts here.
Jim: Sounds complicated.
Michael Scott: It is.
Pam: Yeah, but I mean, if you really like this person, then you should see where it goes.
Michael Scott: You want me to be happy?
Pam: Of course.
Michael Scott: Part of the problem is, she is the mother of a close friend of mine.
Pam: Oh.
Michael Scott: More than a friend, a co-worker.
Pam: Oh, gossip. Who is it? Who is it? Who is it, Michael? ... Who?
Michael Scott: It's okay.
Pam: No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Nooooo! [runs out]
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: That could have gone one of two ways, but I never expected her to get upset.

Dwight K. Schrute: You seem tense. Hey, you want me to give you the chills?
Michael Scott: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: There's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down, the yolk is running down...
Michael Scott: [sighs] Feels good.
Dwight K. Schrute: There's a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down...
Michael Scott: I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes, dinner.
Dwight K. Schrute: The blood is gushing down, the blood is gushing down... You know, I really would have appreciated a heads-up that you were into dating mothers. I would have introduced you to mine.

Pam: [on cell phone] How could you do this to me? He's my boss! How many times have I complained about him to you? No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy!

Andy: How may I be of service to you?
Jim: I am gonna need your advice. [Opera music starts loudly playing in the office. Creed starts to cry.] I was thinking about getting this opera for Dwight's birthday, what do you think?
Andy: This aria is a joke.
Jim: Really?
Andy: What are you thinking?
Jim: I was gonna go with this one.
Andy: Let me tell you something, if you respect him at all, you will get him something better.

Dwight K. Schrute: The Nard Dog... what was that all about?
Andy: I know, right?
Dwight K. Schrute: What were you talking about in there?
Andy: Trust me it would only make you mad.

Michael Scott: [on phone] No, no, no, I'll talk to her. I will. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Uh. Ah, yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. Alright, bye pickle.
Kevin: Who's pickle?
Michael Scott: Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.

Oscar: Hold on, hold on. What's going on?
Jim: Nothing. Nothing at all. It's all good!
Pam: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes me an apology.
Michael Scott: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam: Don't call my mother your lover.
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not okay dude.
Michael Scott: All right, in my defense-
Phyllis: Disgusting!
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam: Yes! Thank you, welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.

Michael Scott: Shut up, Oscar. Hey, all right, you know what, clearly I'm outnumbered here, but can I just say one thing, please? What is so wrong about me? I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness.
Phyllis: Good luck, Michael, I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right, who are we to-
Pam: Shut up, Oscar. What is wrong with all of you, he is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on.

Michael Scott: Let's get back to the matter at hand.
Pam: Whatever! You know, sleep with my mom, sleep with everybody's mom.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no, no.
Ryan: Whoa, that's my mother you're talking about!

Oscar: Pam, just for the record, I think you're overreacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam: Well, he could still... I'm sorry about that.