Dwight K. Schrute: What if the owner of Prince Family Paper has a beautiful daughter and we have to seduce her to get their secrets?
Michael Scott: I will seduce her.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, I wanna seduce her.
Michael Scott: Let me seduce her.
Dwight K. Schrute: Michael, please-
Michael Scott: No I got it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You'll fall in love with her.
Michael Scott: Yeah. So what if I did? That would take precedence, and I would expect your support.

Dwight K. Schrute: So you go in now, I'm gonna go in in exactly ten minutes. We have never met each other.
We are complete strangers. Also, we're gonna need a signal to bolt outta there in case there is danger.
Michael Scott: Fine.
Dwight K. Schrute: And that signal is: lick your lips. Try it. No, no, no. Like this. Good.
Michael Scott: Ready to do this?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.
Michael Scott: All right. Here come the sharks.
[Michael and Dwight start humming the theme from Jaws]

Michael Scott: So even specialty paper, say 94 brightness double-bonded, you would put that on the same truck as your conventional stock?
Roger Prince, Sr.: You sure know a lot about paper for a lawyer.
Michael Scott: Oh, well, that is because I am a genius.
Roger Prince, Sr.: Oh, really?
Michael Scott: Yes. Well, about some things. And other things, I'm just- I'm very stupid. Like watch this. Is this the cup? Is this the cup? Is this what I drink out of? Laughter is my job. Tears are my game. Law is my profession.

Dwight K. Schrute: Hello, I'd like to apply for a job.
Roger Prince, Sr.: Hi. I'm afraid we're not hiring right now.
Dwight K. Schrute: Why don't you just get rid of this guy?
Roger Prince, Sr.: That's my son.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm your son now. You can visit him on holidays. Dwight Schrute. I'm a paper salesman at a second-tier paper company called Dunder Mifflin. I'm the top salesman there, and I'm looking for a new challenge. I would say you guys have what? 40 high-volume clients?
Michael Scott: Try 80.
Dwight K. Schrute: 80? That's nothing. I've got 90 clients myself. Better look out. Someone might run you out of business.
Roger Prince, Sr.: Well, I sure hope not.
Dwight K. Schrute: Me too.

Jim: I think all of us have a tendency to view celebrities as sort of mythical figures. You know, we don't really see them as real, so therefore, we don't judge them as real people.
Kevin: Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture.
Oscar: Kevin, come on.
Kelly: Yeah, shut up, Kevin.
Kevin: But he's making all these fancy- It's a gut thing.
Jim: That's fair. Kev, do me a favor. Why don't you close your eyes? Now imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office for real. She walks over to you and she says, "Kevin Malone, I just read your online profile and there's nothing I'd rather do than make out with you right now." Now you tell me something- Is she hot?
[Kevin smiles and nods, everyone applauds as he walks over to the other side of the room.]
Jim: Does that end the debate? Or- Kev, what are you doing?
Kevin: No, it's "is she hot?", not "would you do her?" Respect the game.

Michael Scott: Oh, well, thank you very much for all of your help. Going to be an incredibly hard decision.
Roger Prince, Sr.: Wait. Let me get something for you here. Here's some some references. Our top clients. You call any of them, I trust you'll hear some good things.
Michael Scott: Okay. Okay. All right, thank you.
Roger Prince, Sr.: You're welcome.
Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me, sir. I took the bus here and was wondering if I could catch a ride home with you in your car.
Michael Scott: Of course. Thank you very much. Thanks for your time.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you very much.
Michael Scott: I cannot wait to contact your clients.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll look forward to getting your calls.
[on their way out:]
Michael & Dwight: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Kelly: No, no, no. She's hot. Okay? Because if you are saying that Hilary Swank isn't hot, then you're saying I'm not hot, because, obviously, I'm not as hot as Hilary Swank.

Dwight K. Schrute: Good-bye, Prince Family. Should be called the Sucker Family. "Here you go, shark. Let me fix your fin for you and sharpen your teeth, while I'm at it." Ha-ha. Bye-bye! Suckers.

Dwight K. Schrute: Save your heart for love and use your brain for business. Right? If we don't do this to Prince Paper, then someone else will. Or worse yet, someone else will do it to us.

Michael Scott: I'm not a shark.