Stanley: Is that from the machine in your office?
Michael Scott: Mm-hm.
Stanley: I thought that was the incentive prize for the top salesperson.
Michael Scott: Very easy to clean. Okay. [to Katy] Like he's going to win anyway.

Michael Scott: So did we get any mail?
Pam: Yeah, I gave it to you.
Michael Scott: Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Just checking. Double-checking. Checking on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office.
Pam: So can I...?
Michael Scott: Yeah, of course. One more thing. How do girls your age feel about futons?

Michael Scott: No, here's the thing. You know I do my best to to be my own man and go by the beat of a different drummer. And nobody gets me. And they're always putting up walls and I'm always tearing 'em down. Just breaking down barriers, that's what I do all day. So, a coffee. Regular coffee. For you. High test or unleaded?

Jim: A futon? He's a grown man.
Pam: That's what he said.
Jim: That's sad. Or it's innovative. Well, you know the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one.

Jan: [on the phone] Are you listening to me?
Michael Scott: Affirmative.
Jan: What did I just say?
Michael Scott: You just said- Let me check my notes. You just said-
Jan: Alan and I have created an incentive program.
Michael Scott: Hey, how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck. OK? From me, big time. Go Pirates!
Jan: I'm not going to do that.
Michael Scott: Okay.

Kevin: So are you jealous because there's another girl around?
Pam: No.
Kevin: She's prettier than you, though.
Pam: That's a very rude thing to say, Kevin.

Michael Scott: Ryan, would you look after the purses, please?
Ryan: I'm installing file share on the computers.
Michael Scott: Well, blah-dee-blu-dee-blah-blah. Techno babble. Just do it, okay? We have company.

Pam: It's nice having Katy around. It's another person for Michael to, um, interact with.

Michael Scott: Toby's divorced. He- Uh. Gah. It was recently, right? You and your wife? And you have kids?
Toby: A girl.
Michael Scott: That's so- That was really messy. You slept one night in your car, too?

Jim: Stop whatever you're doing. This is going to be good. [in a silly voice] Hi, my name's Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good Lord! Look at these purses. This is something special. Oh, my God. Is this Salvatore de Chini-asta?
Pam: [silly voice] Oh, definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.
Jim: Yes. Well, I want to stress-test it, you know, in case anything happens.
Pam: Oh!
Jim: That was really. This is necessary to do to really give it a good work-out. This is the- This is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?
Pam: Oh, God. [normal voice] It's sad. It's so sad.