Michael Scott: All right, girls, break it up. You're being infiltrated. Cock in the hen house.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cocks in the hen house.
Michael Scott: Don't say cocks.

Michael Scott: Here's Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.
Oscar: I'm on the phone.
Michael Scott: Woo-woo. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.
Katy: That was on Sesame Street.
Michael Scott: I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?
Katy: No, I don't believe that. It's unbelievable.

Kevin: Well, what is your type?
Jim: Moms, primarily. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom, really.
Roy: That's disgusting.
Kelly: Stay away from my mom.
Jim: Too late, Kev.

Jim: Pam and I are good buddies. I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems. You know, with stuff like work or her fiancé, Roy. Or um... No, those are pretty much her only two problems.

Dwight K. Schrute: She's been talking to Michael a lot.
Jim: So what? You're assistant regional manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant to the regional manager.

Jim: You have so much more to talk to this girl about. You're both, um, salesmen. That's something right there.
Dwight K. Schrute: True. Plus, I could talk to her about the origins of my last name.
Jim: It's all gold.

Jim: Just keep talking to her. If you hit a stall, you have a fall-back.
Dwight K. Schrute: What's that?
Jim: You buy a purse.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls.
Jim: Dwight, that's not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I do. They're like mini briefcases. All right. Lots of guys have them.

Michael Scott: Just throw out all the empties.
Ryan: You don't want to recycle them?
Michael Scott: Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.
Ryan: Do you want this?
Michael Scott: No.
Ryan: What about this power drink?
Michael Scott: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael Scott: Blue's not a flavor.
Ryan: It says "Flavor, blue blast."
Michael Scott: Oh, blue blast. Yes, put that in the trunk. And there should be an unopened Arctic Chill. I want that in the passenger's cup holder. Thank you.

Michael Scott: I think in order to be a ladies' man, it's imperative people don't know you're a ladies' man. So I kinda play that close to the chest. I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right. I don't know.

Michael Scott: Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of them. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night stand with some stupid cow I'd pick up at a bar, and these people, I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an every-day stand. And I still know their names in the morning.