Michael Scott: Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for $50. And lately she has been sending me, like, nine or ten checks a year. As Nana starts to... But I knew I should be saving it for something. I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. Michael, buy a motorcycle. So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.

Pam: I wouldn't go if things weren't so solid with Jim. And down the road, if we have a family, I couldn't go then either. So the timing's perfect. And that is the first time I've ever used the word "perfect" in here.

Michael Scott: Toby's replacement. Ugh. Wow.
Dwight K. Schrute: So what do we know about her?
Michael Scott: Well, we know that Toby thinks she'll be great. Oh, strike one. I hate her already.
Dwight K. Schrute: I hate her too.
Michael Scott: Why do you hate her?
Dwight K. Schrute: Because she stinks with her ways and her head. [sighs]
Michael Scott: You know, Dwight, sometimes- I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight K. Schrute: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael Scott: Yeah, it would. Just have a thought. Have an original thought! Although I will agree that her head is weird.

Toby: Michael Scott, this is Holly.
Holly: Hi.
Michael Scott: Hi, yeah, right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, god, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here. My job is to make the office fun, your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I. And only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert I'm gonna win.
Holly: Man, someone doesn't like H.R.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Holly: What did you do to him?
Toby: Nothing.
Michael Scott: No, he tortured me with his awfulness.
Holly: Yeah, I know what you mean. I nearly fell asleep when he gave me a tour of the files. Well, look, I'll let you get back to work, but I really look forward to working with you, Mr. Scott.

Holly: Hi.
Kevin: Hi.
Holly: What do you do?
Kevin: I do the numbers.
Holly: Oh, good for you.
Kevin: Do you want an M&M?
Holly: Oh, no, that is so sweet. But thank you, though.
Kevin: Yeah, I keep them here at my desk so that everybody doesn't take them.
Holly: Well, that is a very safe place for them.
Kevin: Yeah.

Jim: You don't love Holly.
Michael Scott: I think I do.
Jim: But you just met her.
Michael Scott: Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was- No. It was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
Jim: Oh, okay, it doesn't work like that.

Holly: Hey, Kevin.
Kevin: Hi.
Holly: Do you need some help?
Kevin: I can't decide what to get.
Holly: Well, what do you like to eat?
Kevin: Well, I like pretzels, but I really like chips.
Holly: Hmm. Well, how much money do you have there? Okay, let's see. 50. This is a button. 55, 65... Okay, you have 75 cents. So that means you could get anything up on the top row.
Kevin: Hmm.

Jim: [on cell phone] Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look,I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you know what, I really don't care because you're trying to get rid of me. And I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what I'm not going anywhere.

Holly: Damn it!
Michael Scott: Hello, Holly. What are you doing? You don't- You don't have to do that. I mean, we have already put-together chairs. That's how we buy them, actually.
Holly: I'm trying to adjust the lumbar support on Toby's chair, and that made this up/down lever thing not work.
And then I took the whole chair apart, and that is the story of me on the floor. It's pretty good, right? I'm gonna sell the movie rights.
Michael Scott: And the sequel, woman stands at desk and works.

Pam: Did you need me to take notes?
Toby: Hi, Pam. Stay.
Pam: Okay.
Michael Scott: All right. Well then, I will proceed. I just have some questions that I was gonna ask. [reading from cards] Who do you think you are?
Toby: I'm Toby.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Correct. Um. What gives- What- What gives you the right?