DeAngelo: You know how I met Jo Bennett and got started on my ladder of success?
Andy: No, I don't.
DeAngelo: Walkin' along, out of work... Again. Thinking to myself, I've only got enough cash to buy a sandwich or get drunk. And I see this guy trying to steal this lady's dog. So I grab the dog, he runs off. She's so grateful, she hires me.
Andy: Aw, wow.
DeAngelo: Gimme that dog! It's not your dog! Yeah. Again.
Andy: Oh, okay.
DeAngelo: Gimme that damn dog, you [bleep] thief! It's her dog! Don't ever do it again! You hear me? You feel that energy? Yeah? Whoo! Yeah. Okay, again.

Phyllis: [on the phone] Did you want the 2726 or the 2730?
Michael Scott: Phyllis? Phyllis, are my mittens done?
Phyllis: No. No. I'm on a sale-
Michael Scott: Okay, listen, it's 2:00 P.M. From now until 4:00, your priority is knitting. Knit like the wind. Okay.

DeAngelo: I would like to start by just saying that I have not worked with Mr. Andy Bernard here for very long. But I can say that he is no Michael Scott. I can't sit here and tell you that he's gonna be a success. Uh, I can't sit here and tell you that he's even the best man for the job. But I can say this. He's got potential. Sure. You know, I always say, "go big or go home." You go with this guy, you could be making the biggest mistake of your life. Or the biggest good decision of your life. It's either gonna be the best thing you ever did, or the worst thing you ever did. If you want some boring, white bread clock-watcher, who's gonna get you your paper when you ordered it for the agreed-upon price, Andy's not your guy. You ever play Russian roulette? Time to spin the chamber, Boris. By signing up for another year.

DeAngelo: That is cold, sir. Absolutely cold. You know what? It was a complete waste of my time.
Andy: Uh, DeAngelo, I'm- Uh. I forgot my bag, so I'm gonna I'll meet you in the car.
DeAngelo: Okay, whatever.
Andy: [returning to the client] Sir, I'd just like to apologize for that. I could tell you that he has a steel plate in his head, or that he's crazy, but the truth is, I think he's just a terrible salesman. And I want you to know that if you re-up with us, anything you need, day or night, I will be the one to take your call.
Client: Keep talkin'.

Michael Scott: And you, why are you still here?
Gabe: I'm either gonna quit today or stay to make sure that Andy's career is destroyed.
Michael Scott: No, you are not going to quit today. For goodness sake, this is not going to be your last day at the office. [sighs] Everybody gets dumped, Gabe. Can I give you a piece of advice? A little cover-up on your Adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite. [winks]

Stanley: Is that it? Is that it?
Michael Scott: Um. Hmm. No. No. There's a special guest that I would like to invite to say one last goodbye, so here he comes. He's coming right in. [returns, speaking in an stereotypical Asian accent] Hi, everybody! It's Ping! And I'm here to say goodbye to all you wonderful people. Thank you, everybody! You've been so wonderful. We were such a good- I "rove" you all. I "rove" you very much.