Michael Scott: Okay. Pam, pros.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Michael Scott: I like her. I think that she is a fast learner. Cons, she doesn't always follow through. Sh- New York and the whole art school thing. And Roy. She has a weird voice.
Jim: That's not true.
Michael Scott: I don't need to tell you that.
Jim: I think she'd be a really good salesperson.
Michael Scott: I don't think you are being totally impartial though, because you haven't said one bad thing about Pam.
Jim: And I won't.
Michael Scott: Okay. So be it, then you've lost credibility. And I'm going to go with my guy, and that's Ryan.
Jim: All right. You're right, sometimes when she's tired, she can be a little bit shrill. But that's not a weird voice.
Michael Scott: Oh, wow! Whoa!
Jim: Take it easy.
Michael Scott: Ho-ho, man! Wow. [in a high-pitched voice] Honey! I want you to bring the garbage out. 'Cause I'm not going to have sex with you unless you bring out the garbage.

Michael Scott: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael Scott: [whispering] It's Michael Scott.

Michael Scott: Well, I guess the first order of business is to welcome back me, and Pam and Ryan. And how about casual Friday again, huh? Reinstituting casual Friday? You all look great. What I want to do right now is try something a little different. I'm going to throw it out there, starting with this meeting. I want you guys to run it. I want you to say whatever you want, take it away. Your meeting.
Dwight K. Schrute: [after a few moments of silence] Wh- What are you doing?
Michael Scott: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now.
Angela: Okay.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Angela: People are dressed inappropriately.
Michael Scott: Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different.
Jim: Can you give us a hint?

Michael Scott: Oscar, what were you going to say?
Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything.
Michael Scott: All right.
Erin: Do I still have a job here?
Michael Scott: Not important. [everyone mutters] Okay, all right. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.

Michael Scott: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and-
Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah , aren't we getting those clients back?
Michael Scott: No, you lost those clients.
Andy: I call foul, sir.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: You were bought out. So the company then bought out all of the stolen clients.
Michael Scott: Okay, Dwight. Let me explain something to you. I set the rules and you follow them. Blindly. Okay? And if you have a problem with that then you can talk to our complaint department. It's a trash can.

Meredith: [to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid.

Andy: [answering the phone] Andrew Bernard.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, what are you still doing at your desk?
Andy: What are you still doing not at your desk?
Dwight K. Schrute: Did you even read the memo?
Andy: All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order--
Dwight K. Schrute: No, you idiot. There is a code embedded in the memo. Listen, you need to round up all the salesmen, except for Ryan and Pam, and get them down to the warehouse pronto.
Andy: Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
Dwight K. Schrute: Stop doing rhyming poetry. Just tell them, please. God, the simplest thing.

Dwight K. Schrute: We're in crisis mode here, do you understand? The two unqualified so-called salespeople are being favored because they all failed together. And frankly, I'm not convinced that Michael and Pam didn't have a thing going while they were gone.
Jim: Can I address that?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, you're too close.
Jim: Okay.

Dwight K. Schrute: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients?
Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it.
Dwight K. Schrute: He doesn't like it.
Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty.

Dwight K. Schrute: Jesus! What- What are you doing here?
Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something.
Dwight K. Schrute: Get out!