Michael Scott: This is important. Ladies, take a breather. Jan, I wanted- [to Pam] Can I help you? I wanted to say that the guys downstairs are thinking about forming a union, and they have some good points.
Jan: What? A union?
Michael Scott: Don't get hysterical.
Jan: I'm not.
Michael Scott: [to camera:] Part of my job is knowing how to talk to women.
Michael Scott: Let's be rational here. What are the pros? What are the cons?
Jan: The cons are that everyone will lose their job, Michael. Everyone. Office, warehouse. What do you think the pros are here?
Michael Scott: Don't talk to me that way, please. Just- They're gonna want to hear this from you.
Jan: Oh, you got yourself into this, Michael, so-
Michael Scott: We're bonding down there.
Jan: -you get yourself out of it. That's too bad.
Michael Scott: I just don't want to have to tell them something they're not gonna want to hear.
Jan: Now who's getting hysterical?

Kelly: What about "second base"? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you, does that mean you, like, closed a deal?
Jan: Excuse me?
Kelly: I mean, that's a baseball term, right?
Jan: I don't know what Michael was talking about. I don't know.

Pam: How's it going down there?
Jim: It's a complete- Well, actually, it's exactly what you'd expect, so- How are the girls?
Pam: Good. We watched a video about our changing bodies.
Jim: Did you really?
Pam: No. [chuckling]
Jim: Oh.
Pam: Almost.

Angela: Are you married?
Jan: I'm divorced.
Phyllis: That must have been hard.
Jan: It was, yes.
Kelly: You were probably feeling really depressed and sad, and that's why you did that thing with Michael.

Kelly: How can someone so beautiful be so sad?

Kelly: I'll tell you one thing. I am not gonna be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Jan: Great. Uh-huh.
Kelly: I want an SUV with three rows of seats.

Pam: Today is a "women in the workplace" thing. Jan's coming in from Corporate to talk to all the women about- Um... I don't really know what. But Michael's not allowed in. She said that about five times.

Jan: Ladies, I am so, so sorry. Can we start again? We were on such a roll. I really apologize-
Pam: Jan?
Jan: -for that. Yes, Pam?
Pam: Michael's still at the door.
Jan: Michael!

Michael Scott: Everyone? Guys? Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby? Come on over. You're a guy, too. Sort of.

Roy: Jim. Jim Halpert. Hey, I, you know, heard there's a rumor going around about you used to have a crush on Pam and-
Jim: Oh, no, no.
Roy: No, no, it's cool, 'cause I know you're a good guy, and I know that that crush ended a long time ago. So, you know, we're cool. All right?
Jim: Yeah. No, yeah. Definitely.
Roy: You know, it's great with me. 'Cause that way I'm glad she has a friend at work she can get through the day with.
Jim: Oh.
Roy: And then she's not all "bap, bap, bap, bap," you know, when she gets home.
Jim: Yeah. I like talking to her, too.
Roy: So, we're cool, right?
Jim: Yes. Yeah.