‘Ben Franklin’
Season 3, Episode 15 - Aired February 1, 2007
Michael arranges bachelor/bachelorette parties for Phyllis and Bob Vance at the office. While Michael goes the traditional route and hires a stripper, Jim arranges for a Ben Franklin impersonator to visit the women.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: On one hand, I want to be honest with Jan and tell her the truth. On the other hand, I'm afraid she's gonna dump me.
Ben Franklin You know, Michael, I fathered an illegitimate son.
Michael Scott: Really?
Ben Franklin But I kept all this from my wife, Deborah. These things only serve to upset the women. They are the gentler sex.
Michael Scott: Wow. Ben Franklin, you're really kind of a sleazebag.
Quote from Pam
Elizabeth: Oh, my God, I would get so fat if I worked here.
Pam: Yeah? I lose my appetite all the time.
Elizabeth: You could strip, you know.
Pam: Thanks.
Quote from Jan
Michael Scott: [on the phone] So you don't want to end our relationship?
Jan: I'm closer to firing you.
Michael Scott: That is so sweet.
Quote from Roy
Roy: I'm not really into strippers. You know what I find sexy? Pam's art. She's an artist and I appreciate that. It's very moving and sexy, the art.
Quote from Todd
Todd: Halpert! Tall, queer, handsome as ever. "Hey, everybody, it's me, Jim." Hello, hello. Todd Packer.
Karen: Karen Filippelli, Jim's girlfriend.
Todd: Shut up!
Karen: Yep.
Todd: Shut it!
Karen: That's rude.
Todd: Either this chick is a dude or Halpert got scared straight.