Frankie: By the way, I know you moved the batteries.
Mike: I knew you'd look for 'em, which is why I moved 'em.
Frankie: Fine. Move 'em. I don't care. I'll find 'em.
Mike: I don't know. It took you ten years to find the first ones.
Frankie: Seriously? You've had your own batteries for ten years? So that time I couldn't turn my neck and I needed batteries for my massager, you had them?
Mike: Yeah, but I gave you a massage.
Frankie: Oh, you squeezed the back of my neck and said, "That should do it."

Brick: Sue, what do you think? Should I upgrade to the camouflage goggles for only $5?
Sue: Brick, I'm on the phone.
Brick: What the heck? I should treat myself. I'm working hard.

Sue: Sheri's walking Matt to school. I'm so happy he found her. She is so helpful. She even showed him where the movie theater is.
Frankie: [v.o.] They say love is blind...
Sue: [on the phone] Oh, you're studying with Sheri? Well, thank her for me for taking such good care of you.
Frankie: [v.o.] But in Sue's case, love is also deaf...
Sue: [talking to Mike] It's so great, 'cause Sheri just broke up with her boyfriend, so she's kind of lonely, too. But Matt says she's super funny and smart and pretty, so hopefully, she'll find someone soon. That way, Matt and I can double-date.
Frankie: [v.o.] And kind of dumb.

Frankie: You know what the really sad part is, Mike? That when we were dating, you would have shared your batteries. Now I gotta stumble across 'em while I'm putting away your giant boxer shorts, which, by the way, you've also had since we were dating.
Mike: Get back in the car, Frankie.
Frankie: No! People need to get their papers.
Mike: Yeah, it's, uh, really urgent they read about... "95-year-old Jasper Harris, who died yesterday, planting tomatoes."
Frankie: So you just want to quit? Look, we're trying to teach our son a lesson here. It's about showing Brick how to do a job well.
Mike: I'd love to show him! I'd love to show him right now! Where the hell is he?!

Brick: Morning. I hope you wrapped the papers in plastic. Last thing I need is a bunch of angry phone calls.
Frankie: That's it, Brick. You quit.
Brick: Really? I thought it was going so well. I even thought about adding a second route.

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, in a family, sometimes you end up doing somebody else's job, but if you're lucky, someone'll step up and help you do yours.
Axl: Oh, my God. Seriously?
Sue: Oh, I was upset about Matt, so I threw myself on the bed, and then the blanket got stuck in my headgear, and now I can't get it out!
Axl: I can't believe you're still moping around over that loser. Would you hold still?
Sue: Ugh.
Axl: There. Got it.
Sue: But what if nobody ever loves me like that again?
Axl: Ugh. Why do you not listen to me? I told you before, guys could... [sighs] Like you.
Sue: Really?
Axl: Trust me, I see a lot of girls where I go, "How does she have a boyfriend?" But you know what? They do, so... Why not you?
Sue: Aw, Axl!
Axl: If you don't blow it. Like, sticking your head to the furniture is not gonna help. [Sue sighs] What are you doing right now?
Sue: Well, I was gonna write out the entire lyrics to "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce and send it to Matt.
Axl: Okay, you're not doing that. You can come with me to my baseball game. I'll revise my previous rule about not being seen with you ever, to you occasionally hanging with me as long as it's been cleared in advance.
Sue: Thanks, Axl.
Axl: Bring $5 for gas and... change your shoes. I might need a push start.

Frankie: Feeling better, honey?
Sue: Yeah. The ball deflected off my headgear, so it only got my forehead. How lucky am I to have headgear, huh?

Frankie: Okay then. Well, I guess I will go out to buy some at the store. Since we don't have any in the house.
Mike: Guess so.
Frankie: All right. Going out into the cold now.
Mike: Bundle up.
Frankie: Okay then. I'm doing it. Here I go. I'm off... to get batteries.
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Frankie: [o.s.] Walking down the steps.
Frankie: [v.o.] That night, I went out and bought a 40-pack of batteries and hid 'em with my frosting, and we never fought again... About that.

Matt: I'm moving.
Sue: What? Where?
Matt: To Zionsville. M-m-my dad got a new job.
Sue: No. You... you can't move away. Everything's perfect now. You're winning wrestling, I'm getting my braces off... We're practically a power couple.
Matt: Look, we'll... we'll e-mail and call each other, and it'll be like nothing changed. I know it sucks, but we still have till tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow?
Matt: My dad's already there. I didn't say anything 'cause I guess I was hoping my dad would get fired or something. He's not the most reliable worker.
Sue: Oh, Matt. [they hug] Oh, this must be love, 'cause you smell so bad right now, and I don't care.

Frankie: I made dinner. Hey, Axl. You want some fries? Tater puffs?
[Axl swings his arm and looks like he's going to throw something at Frankie]
Frankie: Axl! Are you nuts? What's the matter with you?
Axl: Coach says I gotta improve my pickoff move if I want to pitch this season. [he does it again]
Frankie: Ooh! Stop it.
Axl: What? Doesn't work if people see it coming. [chuckles]