Mike: What happened, buddy? You don't get D's. We're kinda counting on you to pull up the family average.
Brick: I'm reading at an eighth grade level. Why can't I please you people?!
Frankie: Just reading isn't gonna get you into college.
Brick: Oh, I'm not going to college. I've decided to live with you guys forever. [whispers] Forever.

Frankie: [v.o.] What was I worried about? It had been months since I last saw Ms. Rinsky. She might not even remember me.
Frankie: [knocks] Hi. Ms. Rinsky. Frankie Heck. Brick's mom?
Ms. Rinsky: Oh! Not today.
Frankie: [v.o.] She remembers me.
Frankie: Would you like me to come back another time?
Ms. Rinsky: No. Sit. Talk. Unburden yourself during my limited free time.

Frankie: Okay. Well, see, Brick got a D on his math test.
Ms. Rinsky: Sometimes kids get D's... But not your son. Oh, no. He has to be perfect at every single thing he does, right, Mommy?
Frankie: [laughs] I... You know, Ms. Rinsky, you're very funny. Brick never mentioned how funny you are.
Ms. Rinsky: Are you helping him with his homework?
Frankie: Oh, no. He does it all himself.
Ms. Rinsky: He's getting a D. Maybe you should help him.
Frankie: Oh, no. We do. We do. We totally do. It's just that we can't help him, 'cause we don't really understand it ourselves.
Ms. Rinsky: Okay, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm going to set aside some extra time. An evening next week... to teach parents a math class.
Frankie: Oh! That would be so... Wait. What? A class for parents?
Ms. Rinsky: Is there a problem?
Frankie: No. That just sounds like a lot of work... For you.

Ms. Rinsky: Welcome, parents. I'm sure we're all thrilled to be here on a night when The Mentalist is on, but tonight we're gonna learn...
Frankie: Excuse me. Ms. Rinsky?
Ms. Rinsky: How wonderful. An interruption.
Frankie: Should we take notes, or will there be handouts?
Ms. Rinsky: There'll be handouts. Now as I was saying...
Frankie: I'm gonna take notes anyway, just to be safe. Brought a fresh notebook.

Frankie: [to Mike] Oh! I know this one! Ha! I got one before you.
Ms. Rinsky: Oh, so you finally got one, did you, dear? Why don't you come to the board and show us your work?
Frankie: Oh, no, no, no. I'm good.
Ms. Rinsky: I wasn't asking.
Frankie: Okay. The answer is 185. So you need to add or subtract to make 10s. 146... Plus 4... Ahem. Equals... 150. 39 plus 1 equals 40. Okay, wait. Um... I'm supposed to be chunking, right? I'll just... Start it all over. Okay. Talk amongst yourselves, people. You don't have to be quiet for me. This is silly. I know this. I really do. I mean, come on. It's third grade math.
Ms. Rinsky: Then it shouldn't take long, dear, because once you get this right, we can all go home.
Frankie: Carry the 1... The 1... Carry, uh... Did you know I can name every president in order? George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe... James Madison... James Monroe...

Mike: What are you doing up so early?
Frankie: I never came to bed. I was too worked up, so I made a few phone calls, I organized the junk drawer... And then I fired off an e-mail to the principal about Ms. Rinsky.
Mike: You did what now?
Frankie: Don't worry. It's good. You wanna hear it? I made some very good points. "Dear Principal Larimer, I'm writing to bring to your attention an issue of concern for me as a parent." Huh? "It regards one of your teachers, Ms. Rinsky. I have tried repeatedly to have an open dialogue with her about my son's education, but she has been completely uncaring and dismissive. Today, more than ever, don't we need teachers who are caring and missive?" Okay, that might not be the right word, but wait. It gets better. Okay. "Her teaching skills in math don't add up." [slight chuckle] "Maybe 'cause when she was born the numbers only went up to ten."
Mike: Oh.
Frankie: I don't remember writing that, but... "If you want to schedule a parent-teacher conference with her, good luck. Your best bet is scheduling it with the bartender at Beefsteak Charlie's. Glug, glug." Uh-oh. "Is this the kind of teacher you want at your school... one who instead of nurturing our children, uses mind games and intimidation? She would've made a fine... Nazi. Maybe she was. What do we really know about her?" Oh, my God!

Sue: Oh, my God, Aunt Edie. I can't believe you just sprayed that guy right in the face.
Aunt Edie: That was nothing! I've been teargassed in the face!
Axl: What?! Why?
Aunt Edie: Oh, we were at a jazz club, and some of the White kids wanted to dance with the Black kids.
Sue: Oh, my god. This is just like Hairspray!
Axl: Then the cops showed up, and it turned into a riot.
Axl: Whoa! A riot?
Aunt Edie: Yeah.
Axl: Sweet! Did anyone use nunchuks?
Aunt Edie: You know, I don't think so. But that riot was something else, and it reminded me...
Frankie: [v.o.] So Aunt Edie told them all about the riot, the moon landing, and the time she saw Elvis buying AA batteries at Wheeler's Market. Maybe Axl and Sue didn't find the time capsule they were looking for, but they ended up finding a better one.

Axl: Hey, Aunt Edie! I got everything except the scotch. The guy at the liquor store still wouldn't sell it to me, even with that note you gave me. Aunt Edie. Aunt Edie? Aunt Edie? Hey. Hi. I'm sorry. I never took you to find your time capsule thingy, and now you'll never get to! Oh! I'm so selfish! Why can't I feel like Beyonce?!
Aunt Edie: [wakes up] Stop caterwauling. And top off my drink.
Axl: Aunt Edie! You're alive!
Aunt Edie: I am?
Axl: Yes! And you know what? I'm gonna help you find your time capsule! Not tonight, though, 'cause Sean and Darrin are coming over, and we're punching each other in the stomach... You know, firming up the core. But tomorrow we're gonna find that time capsule!

Frankie: [v.o.] School... It's challenging, demanding, and takes a whole lot of work. And it can be hard on your kids, too.
Frankie: Jeez, Brick, what do you got in here? This thing weighs a ton.
Brick: Well, I told you, there's been a measurable increase In workload now that I'm in third grade. It's really cutting into my reading time.
Frankie: [empties backpack] Okay. Chicken nuggets... Piles of popsicle sticks... Oh! An ant farm. Oh, sorry. Ant cemetery. You got a D on your math test? You don't get D's.
Brick: Eh, what are you gonna do?
Frankie: I'll tell you what you're gonna do, Brick. You're gonna study. Math is very important in life. You use math in everything... Oh, even I can't say it like I believe it.

Frankie: Well, Mike, you know what this means, don't you?
Mike: Oh, jeez.
Frankie: We're gonna have to help Brick with his homework.
Frankie: [v.o.] In our house, helping with homework Is something that's never gone well.
[flashback to Sue sobbing as Mike sits and helps her with her homework:]
Mike: Write it down. [Sue sobs] Write it down. Why aren't you writing it down?! [Sue cries]
[flashback to Frankie helping Axl with his homework:]
Axl: Just write whatever you want! I don't care!
Frankie: It's not my homework! It's your homework!