Frankie: Well, this time, we're just gonna have to make it fun.
[cut to Frankie and Mike helping Brick with his homework:]
Mike: Write it down. Write it down! Why aren't you writing it down?!
Brick: That's not how Ms. Rinsky told us to do it!
Frankie: Well, how did she say to do it then?
Brick: I don't know!
Mike: Just write it down!
Brick: We're supposed to show our work.
Mike: Well, you didn't do any work! I did. You should show her a picture of me.

Mike: Are you sure there's not some other instructions that were sent home or something, something you might have lost?
Frankie: Oh, yeah. You know what? There is. There's a big ol' packet of instructions with all the answers to everything we'd ever want to know, and I've been hiding it from you.
Brick: Well, go get 'em!

Sue: Mom!
Axl: Oh, no! It's your turn to go help Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny. I went last week.
Sue: Yeah, but last time, I accidentally drank from their denture cup, so that should count for two!
Mike: I'd say three.
Axl: If Aunt Edie asks me one more time if I've had my BM... Why does she care?!
Frankie: You know what? You two should be ashamed of yourselves. You should want to go over there and soak up every bit of wisdom you can get from them! If I were you, I would consider it a privilege!
Axl: Then why don't you go?
Frankie: Because I'm trying to teach you to respect your elders... And I did my time.

Frankie: We're useless, Mike. We can't even help our kid with third grade math.
Mike: Well, maybe you should go talk to his teacher and get him some help.
Frankie: We were both banned. But I was banned first, so you have to go.
Mike: Oh, I was banned last, so you should go.
Frankie: Okay, you know what? The first person to get the answer to the next problem doesn't have to go talk to Ms. Rinsky.
Mike: Deal. "Two trains are leaving the station at the same time..."
Frankie: Fine! I'll go.

Mike: Is that who you were in school? You were that person?
Frankie: What person?
Mike: "Ms. Rinsky, should we take notes?" You know, the suck-up, the goody-goody, the narc.
Frankie: Well, if we have to be here, Mike, I want to make the most of it. And actually, I was very cool in school.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: I was.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: I was.
Ms. Rinsky: Am I gonna have to separate you two?
Mike: Please.

Frankie: [v.o.] Let's face it, to teenagers, old people are like alien life forms from a faraway galaxy they don't really want to visit.
Aunt Edie: How are things going in school? You're... You're in... What, the second grade now?
Sue: Uh-huh. Eighth. I'm actually working on a really big science project right now, so that's why we have to leave in a little less than 14 minutes.
Aunt Edie: When I was your age, I used to love school. I remember once we had to do this time capsule. You know, fill it with important things and bury it in the backyard so we could dig it up when we were grown.
Sue: Really? And... And did you? Did you dig it up?
Aunt Edie: Oh. We moved before I could. What a shame. You know, I think of it every day of my life.
Sue: You have? Oh, my God. That's so many days!

Ms. Rinsky: So if you look at number five in your handout, using the chunking strategy, what is the answer?
Frankie: 74.
All: 112.
Ms. Rinsky: Excellent. Mostly everybody.
Mike: Here. Let me show you. You're thinking addition. You need to...
Frankie: I don't need your help. I can do it myself.
Ms. Rinsky: Nice job, Mr. Heck. [gives him a candy] You get it.
Mike: Well, now that you explained it, it's coming pretty easy.
Frankie: "Now that you explained it, it's coming pretty easy."

Sue: Axl, ever since we got home, I can't stop thinking about Aunt Edie.
Axl: That bone spur thingy on her foot?
Sue: No, but ew. You know what we need to do? We should totally take her to dig up that old time capsule!
Axl: Yeah, I'd love to drive my dork sister and senile aunt around, then dig a hole. Let's go!
Sue: Axl, you need to start thinking outside of yourself! Look at Beyonce, she has every reason In the world to be selfish, and she still gives back! Wouldn't it be amazing if we could find the capsule for Aunt Edie and make her dreams come true?!
Axl: Sorry. My time is way too valuable.

Frankie: I'll tell you what happened. Ms. Rinsky is what happened. She's just a bad teacher!
Mike: Mm. Could be.
Frankie: She intimidates people, Mike. I experienced it firsthand. You can't do math with those cold, dead eyes staring at you. Brick probably melted down just like I did.
Mike: Probably.
Frankie: Maybe she was a good teacher when she was younger, but now that she's older, she just doesn't care anymore.
Mike: Yeah. I'm a lot younger than her, and I don't really care anymore.
Frankie: She's jaded and burned-out, and the last thing she should be doing is teaching kids that young. But does the school system care that she is creating a hostile learning environment? No, because the school system is broken, Mike! It's broken.

Frankie: Somebody should do something.
Mike: They should.
Frankie: Where you going?
Mike: Bed.
Frankie: But we're in the middle of a conversation.
Mike: Really? I was at the end. Night.