‘Swing and a Miss’
Season 8, Episode 16 - Aired March 7, 2017
When Lexie spends Spring Break at the Heck house, she confesses to Sue that she has a crush on Axl. After Nancy Donahue tells Frankie she must be so proud, Frankie tries to figure out what on earth she's supposed to be proud of. Meanwhile, Mike drafts Coach Babbitt as a ringer to strengthen the quarry's softball team.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] With Tink at the helm, Orson Limestone won their next four games. They even beat Ernie's Injection Molding. Unfortunately, for those four games, Mike was playing a different position.
Quote from Mike
Coach Babbitt: All right, Wayne, you're up. Chuck's on deck, and Dave's in the hole.
Wayne: [loudly] I'm gonna bunt!
Mike: Hey, Coach, I'm sitting out a lot of games here. My back is feeling great now. No kidding. I tied my shoes this morning on the first try. I'm ready to get back in there.
Coach Babbitt: Oh, we're kind of on a winning streak here, Heck. You don't want to mess with that mojo. Even talking about it gives me the jeebies. Whoo! [knocks on wood] [spits]
Mike: Well, I want to contribute, you know? And more than just knitting a bat cozy.
Coach Babbitt: Sorry, Heck, but John's playing out of his mind. I kept thinking he was gonna go back to his old ways, but he's on fire. Soon as he cools off, you're the first one back in.
Mike: When Dave was coach, he always had me in the starting lineup.
Coach Babbitt: Dave, you okay with the lineup?
Dave: [o.s.] You mean, am I okay with winning? Yeah.
Eleanor: [to Mike] Stop moving.
Quote from Mike
Coach Babbitt: Hey, Heck. How you doing?
Mike: Hey. Feeling great, ready for the game tomorrow.
Coach Babbitt: Yeah, I got some bad news, and I don't want you to take it too hard, so I'm just gonna rip off the Band-Aid. I got poached.
Mike: Poached?
Coach Babbitt: Yep. Hagen Westside Realty got me. All I got to do is push their mail through a slot, pitch a couple of shutouts, and they're gonna fix the brakes on my Subaru.
Mike: Well, Eleanor's not gonna like it. We were about to start an afghan. But whatever's best for the team.
Coach Babbitt: All right, then. Later, champ.
Quote from Axl
Axl: I'm just here for my dishes. I put them in earlier, so they should be done by now. And don't worry. I put yours in the sink.
Sue: Axl, I am trying to study here.
Axl: For what, obedience school? You know, you don't get a treat if you roll over when you're supposed to sit.
Sue: Oh, ha ha, 'cause I'm a dog.
Axl: Hey, you're never gonna get a treat with that attitude. So, uh, where's your owner?
Sue: Who, Lexie? She's at that big St. Patrick's Day party. I'm surprised you're not there.
Axl: Nah, that party's lame. When you're a freshman and sophomore, you think it's fun. As a junior, you only go there ironically, and you would never be caught dead there as a senior.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: There he is, Mr. National Honor Society.
Brick: I can't believe you guys came.
Mike: You made that very clear over the microphone.
Quote from Axl
Olson: Axl.
Axl: What's up, Olson?
Olson: What's up, man? I thought you said you'd have to be dead to be seen at this party.
Axl: Yeah, yeah. Well, can I, uh, catch up with you guys later? I'm kind of looking for someone. That's her.
Devin: Axl!
Axl: Devin?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, with Tink gone, Orson Limestone's hot streak was over. But at least Mike was back in the game. Unfortunately, their first game was against...
Coach Babbitt: Bring it in! Bring it in! Easy out here! You don't want any of this voodoo, do you, Heck?