Brick Quote #946
Brick: "She is survived by her husband, Henry, and sister, Sylvia Hammond. The county coroner will conduct a full autopsy and..." Oh, my God!
Frankie: What? What?!
Brick: They put an apostrophe "S" in "paramedics." That's not possessive, that's plural! Who was proofing the Herald back then?
Frankie: You know what, Mike? I don't know what upsets me more... a dead body in my bathtub or you not telling me about it.
Brick: Or the apostrophe!
Quote from Sue
Lexie: Well, we were kinda talking about our costumes for the party.
Sue: Oh, right! So, what are you guys thinking?
Lexie: I don't know, something cute and fun like salt and pepper?
Sue: I like it! And I can be cinnamon.
Axl: Or... peanut better and jelly.
Sue: And bananas.
Axl: Or maybe like a couple's thing, you know, like a Romeo and Juliet.
Sue: And the poison!
Quote from Axl
Axl: Hi, I'm Donny!
Lexie: And I'm Marie!
Axl: Welcome to the show! Tonight's guests are Ruth Buzzi... whoever that is... Paul Lynde... whoever that is... and Lassie!
Frankie: I'm surprised you even know who Donny & Marie are.
Lexie: Well, we were looking up famous couples for a costume, and we found them on YouTube. And I thought that Axl would make a pretty cute Donny.
Axl: And you're an even cuter Marie.
Lexie: Mm! [they kiss]
Frankie: Y-You do know they're brother and sister, right?
Axl: What? No, they're not. They got the same last name.
Mike: Yeah, 'cause they're brother and sister.
Lexie: But... we chose them because Sonny and Cher got divorced, and they stayed together.
Frankie: Because they're brother and sister.
Axl: Whatever, I don't care! [kisses Lexie on the cheek] We're out of here.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: I was finally filing the last of the soggy papers from the flood, and I found the old deed to our house.
So I'm flipping through the disclosure statements. Listen. "Cracked foundation," which we knew, "dangerous wiring," which we knew. And then this. "Disclosure number three... Death occurred on the premises." Oh, my God! Can you believe this?! How did we not know about this? Someone died in our house.
Mike: I knew.
Frankie: What do you mean, you knew?
Mike: The realtor told me. I didn't tell you 'cause I knew you'd freak out.
Frankie: Yeah, I'd freak out! Someone died in our house! I can't believe you hid this from me. Did you ever think that maybe that's why all these creepy things keep happening around here? Candles blowing out, cabinets that don't close, my bruise that never goes away!
Mike: I thought that was gone.
Frankie: Oh, it's back. Feast your eyes.
Quote from Hecks on a Train
Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.
Quote from Mommapalooza
Sue: Okay, so, what do we do? Dad didn't give us enough drywall to fix a hole this big. He's gonna freak out.
Brick: I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be really rough for you.
Sue: Me? You're the one who did this.
Brick: Well, you're the older sister who left her little brother to do major home repair on his own. Besides, if Dad flips out, I can just play the quirk card. I shrug, I look confused, throw in a few whoops and whispers, lick something if I have to... I'm off scot-free.
Sue: Oh, my God. You're diabolical.
Brick: I am not diabolical. [whispers] Diabolical. [normal voice] It's so easy. [whispers] It's so easy. [normal voice] Okay, that one wasn't planned.
Quote from Flirting with Disaster
Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...