Mike Quote #1068
Quote from Mike in Eyes Wide Open
Mike: Sue, it's not like this is something new. You've always been hard to settle down and get to bed.
Sue: Really?
Mike: Yeah. Well, you kinda idle high. It's... It's great that you get so excited about stuff, but it's hard to bring all that energy down. Even when you were a baby, your mom used to be at her wits' end trying to calm you down. She would try to swaddle you, but [clicks tongue] she'd never quite do it right. I guess I kinda had the magic touch. See, the trick is, make that first tuck nice and snug. There you go. That's key, because if that goes slack, the whole thing kinda falls apart. So, you bring that corner up and bring this side over. Uh-huh. [sighs] Then once I got you all bundled, I'd just carry you around the room like a football. [chuckles] Your whole body would fit right here. How's that?
Sue: Actually pretty nice.
Mike: Hmm. Well, then, after I got you all wrapped up, I would tell you a nice, long... boring story about my day. Like today, for instance... Somebody ordered an extra flat of granite, but I couldn't find the original order. So I had to look through the accordion file, and sure enough, someone had misfiled it with the January orders. So, I called Dave down at the pit, told him to come up. He didn't come right away, so I had to head down there and meet him. Met him halfway... We ran into each other. Had a nice laugh about that. Then I gave him a form Z207-B... That's for granite. Don't want to mix that up with Z206-C. That's for limestone. Still got it.
The Middle Quotes
‘Eyes Wide Open’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Oh, is it hard? Is it too hard? I do it every day. And... silverware up, sharp knives down.
Axl: No. Oh! Daddy! Help me! She's a crazy person!
Mike: What's going on?
Frankie: He's 23 years old and living in our house... He should know how to load the dishwasher.
Mike: What do you mean? He's been loading the dishwasher for years.
Frankie: Yeah, and never correctly. He just throws everything in here like a big mess. That's why we have chipped bowls, our Tupperware is melted. The Spider-Man and Flintstone glasses rubbed against each other, so now we have no nice glasses for company. As long as he is living in this house, he's gonna learn to do things right. Don't you help him.
Axl: Ugh! [dishes clatter] My brain hurts. I need a break.
Frankie: Oh, fine. You can't take it, go cool off. And pick up your socks! For every stinky sock I find lying around there, I'm gonna leave a bra.
Quote from Axl
Man: So, the pay is bad, but I get my summers off.
Axl: Hmm.
Man: And what do you do?
Axl: Well, I kind of just retired.
Man: Really?
Axl: Yeah... From Olympic diving. Trained with Greg Louganis, maybe you've heard of him? Probably the greatest diver in history. I mean, I'm not that good... I'm ranked, like, eighth in the world. But I didn't win any medals or anything, so don't look it up.
Man: Wow. Uh, what's Rio like?
Axl: Great movie. Hilarious. Why?
Man: 'Cause that's where the Olympics were.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: What did you just do?
Brick: You heard her... Those threats were from Cindy! Those threats were from the lady I love! She clearly wants me back!
Frankie: No, no, no, no, no. We put too much work into getting this fish in the boat. Besides, Lilah is lovely and smart and normal and she seems to really like you.
Mike: And she eats cereal. We don't have to buy her shrimp.
Brick: But she's so much work. And with Cindy, things just come so naturally. You know Cindy... She's one in a million.
Mike: I'd go higher.
Brick: I blew it and broke up with her and thought I lost her forever, but now I have hope. I'm walking on air!