Axl Quote #1180
Quote from Axl in Eyes Wide Open
Axl: That crack about Spudsy's... too far.
Hutch: Dude, you do work at a potato place. You made fun of it yourself.
Axl: Not in front of people. That was below the belt.
Hutch: Look, no biggie. I'll just go back out there and pump you back up about the Olympic-diver thing, and I'll say you're on the short list for Dancing with the Stars.
Axl: You know what? Don't.
Hutch: Why not?
Axl: [sighs] 'Cause it's B.S. Excuse me. Everyone, I have something to say. Um... this is gonna be hard to believe... [chuckles] but although I do clearly have the sinewy grace of an Olympic diver [inhales deeply] I'm not. Been lying to you. The truth is, although I do have a college degree, I now work part-time at a potato store for minimum wage. You know, I still live at home with my parents. I share a room with my little brother. And I put my mom's underwear away, 'cause that's just the way it works in our house. You can't just do the wash. You got to put it away, too. And if you're gonna load the dishwasher, you got to do it right. Who knew that plastic bowls go on the top rack? Am I right? [all hands go up] Oh, my God. Everybody. Really? Wow, okay. Look... point is, that's who I really am. And I had to tell you, 'cause if I'm not honest with you, I can't be honest with myself.
Hutch: [sighs] I'm proud of you, man. That took a lot of guts. I'll tell Beyoncé about it... Might be a song in it.
The Middle Quotes
‘Eyes Wide Open’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Oh, is it hard? Is it too hard? I do it every day. And... silverware up, sharp knives down.
Axl: No. Oh! Daddy! Help me! She's a crazy person!
Mike: What's going on?
Frankie: He's 23 years old and living in our house... He should know how to load the dishwasher.
Mike: What do you mean? He's been loading the dishwasher for years.
Frankie: Yeah, and never correctly. He just throws everything in here like a big mess. That's why we have chipped bowls, our Tupperware is melted. The Spider-Man and Flintstone glasses rubbed against each other, so now we have no nice glasses for company. As long as he is living in this house, he's gonna learn to do things right. Don't you help him.
Axl: Ugh! [dishes clatter] My brain hurts. I need a break.
Frankie: Oh, fine. You can't take it, go cool off. And pick up your socks! For every stinky sock I find lying around there, I'm gonna leave a bra.
Quote from Axl
Man: So, the pay is bad, but I get my summers off.
Axl: Hmm.
Man: And what do you do?
Axl: Well, I kind of just retired.
Man: Really?
Axl: Yeah... From Olympic diving. Trained with Greg Louganis, maybe you've heard of him? Probably the greatest diver in history. I mean, I'm not that good... I'm ranked, like, eighth in the world. But I didn't win any medals or anything, so don't look it up.
Man: Wow. Uh, what's Rio like?
Axl: Great movie. Hilarious. Why?
Man: 'Cause that's where the Olympics were.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: What did you just do?
Brick: You heard her... Those threats were from Cindy! Those threats were from the lady I love! She clearly wants me back!
Frankie: No, no, no, no, no. We put too much work into getting this fish in the boat. Besides, Lilah is lovely and smart and normal and she seems to really like you.
Mike: And she eats cereal. We don't have to buy her shrimp.
Brick: But she's so much work. And with Cindy, things just come so naturally. You know Cindy... She's one in a million.
Mike: I'd go higher.
Brick: I blew it and broke up with her and thought I lost her forever, but now I have hope. I'm walking on air!