Sue Quote #737
Quote from Sue in The Convention
Sue: I don't know! I don't know! Okay, Axl, just tell me what to do. Please! Please!
Axl: I can't do that, Sue. You got to come up with your own special lie so when you say it, you believe it.
Sue: Okay. Okay. I'll say I-I was outside Sudfeld Hall when I saw a man collapse.
Axl: Good. Man collapse. I like it. Go on.
Sue: And... And he was scared. A-and he wanted me to comfort him, and... and sing him a song.
Axl: [imitates buzzer] Lose the song. You might be required to sing it.
Sue: Right, right, right, right. Then he looked into my eyes and he eked out, "Don't leave me, please!" And I didn't 'cause I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. So, I waited until the paramedics came, a-and then I ran all the way here 'cause I really want to take this test.
Axl: Nicely done, Sue. I like this lie for you. It's fresh. It's original. It's very you. You got this.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Convention’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Goodwin
Frankie: Hey, Dr. Goodwin. Um, you said all expenses were being taken care of, right?
Dr. Goodwin: Yepperoonie.
Frankie: Oh, thank god. 'Cause we just got a bill by mistake for our room service and minibar charges.
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, no, now, they never pay for that. That's why I always bring my snack sack with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Frankie: But you said all expenses paid. That's what you said.
Dr. Goodwin: No, I distinctly remember saying y'all's expenses are paid. Not all y'all's.
Frankie: No, no, no, no, that can't be. I mean, how is anybody supposed to know that "all y'all's" is plural for "y'all's"?
Dr. Goodwin: Well, all y'all's would obviously be more than y'all's. I mean...
Mike: What is he saying? Do you speak hillbilly?
Frankie: Not well, but I think this hillbilly is telling us that we owe $674.
Dr. Goodwin: Ooh, y'all ordered a lot.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Oh, man. I ordered ribs, and I didn't like them, so I ordered a steak. I was living like Caesar up here. And, Frankie, seriously? Dry cleaning?
Frankie: They folded my underwear. It made me feel special. But what about you? Shoeshine? What are you, running for congress?
Mike: I thought all expenses were paid. It seemed nuts not to do it.
Frankie: Let's just run, Mike. Let's just grab the soap and Kleenex and run.
Mike: We can't. We gave them a credit card... the good one.
Dr. Goodwin: Ooh, boy, I got to say, y'all are in quite a pickle.
Mike: [Southern accent] Are we? Are we in a pickle? Have we done and done it? Are we long-tail cats in a room full of rockers?
Frankie: Mike, calm down. That is not helping anything. Now, look, I will think of something, but in the meantime, take the robe off, Hef. That costs 60 bucks. Take the other one out of my suitcase.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Okay, we'll start with the basic categories of lies. Number one... personal tragedy. You're dying, a friend's dying, Grandma's dying. You get the picture. It's old school, but it totally works. It does, however, require a certain shady moral compass.
Sue: I could never do that to Grandma. She just sent fudge.
Axl: Well, there's the "appeal to their humanity" lie. You call up the professor and say, "I could tell you a lie, but I respect you too much."
Sue: Wait, so am I lying or not lying?
Axl: That might be a little advanced for you. There is a new category that's very promising. The "I identify with the opposite gender and have issues" lie. The only downside is you have to live the next four years as a man. It's a big commitment.