Frankie: [v.o.] I had never felt more alive. And our gig... that's what it's called... "a gig"... was going so well that Reverend Timtom booked us on a worldwide tour!
Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] Be careful on the World Wide Web
Frankie: [sings] Be certain of your Facebook friends
Reverend TimTom: That dreamboat you're in love with might not exist
Both: You've been catfished.
[later:]
Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] So keep it clean and use your brain
Frankie: And be profound and not profane
Both: Don't curse!
[later:]
Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] Sometimes it can seem like a chore
Frankie: [sings] Family dinner
Reverend TimTom: Uncomfortable and such a bore
Frankie: It's a winner
Frankie: [v.o.] So we ended our whirlwind tour, and I was exhausted. We had traveled over 63 miles.

Lexie: It's okay. You don't know fancy places, but I'll teach you.
Axl: Oh, yeah? Planning to win a lot more contests for fancy dinners?
Lexie: All right, what is with you? You've been weird all night.
Axl: [sighs] I'm not an idiot, Lexie. I've only seen $100 bill once in my life, concert tickets don't just fall on the ground, steaks don't magically appear at your door, and I don't know anyone under the age of 50 who listens to local radio.
Lexie: Uh, I do. I totally listen to local radio. It's my jam.

Axl: Look, you either want to be with me... And my bank account... Or you don't.
Lexie: Of course I want to be with you. I just don't understand why you have to be so stubborn.
Axl: I just don't want to be your trophy boy, okay?
Lexie: Well, I'm sorry, but when you love someone, you want to be able to sh...
Axl: Wait. You love me?
Lexie: Oh, God. Oh, it just kind of slipped out. Is it too soon? Should I not have said it? Oh, my God. Oh, um... pretend I didn't say it. I'm just gonna go die in a hole somewhere.
Axl: Lexie... In nice restaurants, are you allowed to kiss? [they kiss] I, uh... I love you, too.

Lexie: I almost forgot. I finally got my birthday card from my parents.
Axl: Mm!
Lexie: Today is the last day of Lexie Brooks Month. "To our daughter on her 21st birthday. The world is better because of your smile."
Axl: Aww.
Lexie: What's this? "Dearest Lexie. When I turned 21, my dad gave me $40 and cut me off, and it was the greatest gift he ever gave me. We believe in you and can't wait to see what you do. Go out into the world and make us proud. Love, Dad." Is this for real? They're not cutting me off, are they? I mean... I mean...
Axl: It's okay. You're not used to being poor, but I will teach you.
[Axl starts loading Lexie's bag with breadsticks and mints from the table]
Lexie: [whispers] What are you doing?

Reverend TimTom: Hello, there, Frankie Heck. Ready for our gig in Greencastle? Oh, I had to add a new verse to the anti-vaping song. The studies are coming out faster than I can write.
Frankie: Yeah, I-I don't think I'm gonna go. I-I just have too much going on around here. There's this whole Swedish cleaning philosophy I've been meaning to get into. And, hey, you're better off without me.
Reverend TimTom: Really? Huh. Well, cheese and crackers. That's too bad. And I was working on a new song for us, too.
Sue: Oh, my God. Reverend Timtom, you're here! [gasps] Oh, I mean, oh, my gosh. What the hell is with me? Oh, I mean, heck! What the heck is with me? Geez. I mean...
Reverend TimTom: Sue, it's fine. I was just here to pick up your mom for our gig, but for some reason she thinks I'd be better off without her.
Frankie: Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. The whole thing's kind of silly. I'm just gonna put on a robe and make dinner.
Brick: Oh, uh, grilled cheese and tomato soup for me.
Axl: Make it two.
Sue: Can I have one with tater tots?
Frankie: [sighs] Yeah.

Frankie: [v.o.] It's not often a song hits that double sweet spot of being super catchy, while also making your family feel horrible for how they've treated you. Yep, after that, they really supported me.
[cut to Frankie and Reverend TimTom singing in front of a packed hall with the Hecks waving their arms in the front row:]
Both: [sing] Moms are people, too She had hopes and dreams
Frankie: [v.o.] Okay, yeah, that didn't happen. They weren't that supportive. But they did give me a gift.
[Frankie sits on the couch with an electric guitar and a notepad labeled "Mom's Music"]
Frankie: [v.o.] Of course, after a few weeks, it got left by the phone and turned into a message pad. Then it got jelly spilled on it. And then I dropped it in the tub and then I lost track of it. And then I started dodging Reverend Timtom's phone calls 'cause it's a lot, you know? Plus, there's so much good TV on these days.

Sue: Wall-a! See, it sounds like I'm saying voilà, but I'm really saying wall-a. [chuckles] Wall... Anyway, the wall is done. Thanks for stopping by.
Mike: Fantastic. Couldn't have done it any better myself.
Sue: It's a little wet.
Mike: Okay. Well, congratulations. I'm impressed.
Sue: Yeah. No need for compliments. We learned our lesson, and that's all that really matters!
[Sue leans against the wall and falls right through, revealing some of her old posterboards]
Brick: Whoop! Whoop! Not my fault. [whispers] Not my fault.

Frankie: Okay, here's your hat, backpack, lunch.
Brick: But I'm tired. I was up all night watching Randy Poteat how-to-drywall videos on YouTube. Can't I just stay home?
Frankie: Nope, gotta go to school. That's the way the world works, Brick. I can't just stay home all day and watch TV 'cause I'm tired.
Frankie: [v.o.] I lied. I was totally staying home all day and watching TV 'cause I was tired.
Cissy: [on TV] Good morning, Orson! You picked a great day to join us. Are you over 50?
Frankie: Ugh. Yes.
Cissy: Do you feel overwhelmed with clutter? Well, our friends in Sweden may have a solution for you. It's called dostadning... Otherwise known as Swedish death cleaning.

Brick: Okay, I've watched every Randy Poteat instructional drywall video on YouTube. I know exactly what we have to do... Hire someone else to do it.
Sue: What? No, Brick, Dad is trying to teach us a lesson here. This is our fault. We busted the wall. We should pay the consequences. Well, you should. I gotta go.
Brick: Oh, no, you're not getting out of this.
Sue: Well, I have an early class tomorrow. You're the one who's done the research. Just get started and I'll help you finish up when I can get back. Am I the only one who believes in you?
Brick: Yes. Yes, you are.

Brick: [closes door] Okay, just so you know, Randy Poteat is a fraud. I should've been suspicious when he also had a video on how to give your cat a shot.
Sue: Brick, what are you talking about?
Brick: Well, Randy said straightening the lines of the hole will make it easier to put on the drywall, so I made a few small cuts.
Sue: Brick, what have you done to my room? Tina?
[Sue gasps as she walks in and finds the entire wall between her bedroom and Axl and Brick's room missing]
Sue: Brick!
Brick: Yeah, but look how straight the lines are.