Brick: Before you get mad, I cut my own sheets. Ernest Hemingway liked boats anyway.

Sue: Thanks, Dad. Dad, you gotta unlock the door.
Mike: Sue... Have a good time.
Frankie: [v.o.] But sometimes you gotta let 'em go anyway.
Sue: Oops. I almost forgot my sweater.
[Sue puts on a white sweater with a large pumpkin on the front]
Mike: You know what? Guys are gonna love that.
Frankie: [v.o.] Sure, it's scary as hell, but as a wise man once said, tomorrow's a new day.

Frankie: I said "I'm sorry" twice, and then he calls me "sStupid lady." I mean, isn't it kind of a given in life that when you say, "I'm sorry," the other person says, "That's okay"? Right, how hard is that? "That's okay." Here, turn around. I just want to show you what happened.
Mike: No, that's all right. I-I believe you.
Frankie: Okay, no, but you just pretend t-to be his cart...
Mike: Frankie
Frankie: ...and then I'll be my cart. I'll just show you how...
Mike: I got it. You don't have to show...
Frankie: half of that, just like that.
Mike: Hey! Stupid lady. Frankie, the guy was a jerk. So what? Shake it off. Who cares what some idiot thinks?
Frankie: I do. You know what it is? I'm just too nice.
Mike: Yeah. That's one theory.

Mike: It's too tight, it's too grown-up, and she's going to a party in a basement. I know what goes on at basement parties, Frankie. I did some of my best work in basements. Get back in there. Really look this time.

Sue: Wow, you guys must be really thirsty tonight.
Frankie: Oh. These aren't for drinking. We're, uh, dissolving mildew off the bathtub.
Sue: Oh.

Mike: Well?
Frankie: You don't have a problem with the shirt. You have a problem with what's inside the shirt. She's growing up, Mike. I don't know what to tell you.
Mike: I do. Let's stop it.
Frankie: Look, I don't have an issue with the shirt, but if you do, you're the parent, too. You have every right to tell her not to wear it, and I'll back you up 100%.
Mike: I don't want backup. I want you to be the bad guy.
Frankie: Oh. Honey. I know, and maybe if you had agreed to go trick-or-treating with the social group, things would have been different.

Frankie: [v.o.] It was gonna be that bad.
Frankie: Okay, everybody, let's remember, when we get outside, we all have to stick together. No wandering off. This is very important. Is everybody listening?
Frankie: [v.o.] Nobody was listening. Nobody was ever listening. That's why they were in this group. How the hell was I gonna do this?

Frankie: [v.o.] Well, at a certain point, the social group became more of a social experiment: How long could one woman stay chained to six nutty kids on Halloween before she completely lost her mind?
Frankie: Everybody thank the nice lady for letting us all use her bathroom.
Kids: Thank you!
Theo: I have to go the bathroom.
Frankie: Theo, you were just in there.
Theo: I didn't have too then.
Scott: This isn't red. I only like red candy. I can't eat candy that's not red. I have to have red candy.
Henry: Zack keeps purring, Mrs. Heck!
Frankie: Yeah, it's okay, Henry. He can purr. Just means he's happy. Anybody got a piece of red candy they can trade with Scott?
Corey: My socks got dirty. We need to stop so I can put on my backup socks.
Brick: Still think I'm in the top five?

Axl: Hey. What's going on, little Gaga?
Girl: Someone just stole our candy.
Sean: What?
Axl: Who? [the girl points at a boy running away] Stay here. Don't worry. We'll get your candy back. Let's do this.

Frankie: Hey, hey, stop tugging, Scott. We're not moving anywhere. Everybody could just stop moving, but no sitting. Hey, would you stop rubbing up against my leg, Zack? You're not a real cat.
Corey: Can I have French fries?
Frankie: Okay, Corey, for the last time, nobody's giving out fries. Those people were just eating dinner.
Woman: Excuse me. We're trying to get by.
Frankie: Oh, sorry. Just give me a second. Trying to get everybody up. All right, guys, what did I say? No sitting!
Woman: I have kids, too, and I'd never let 'em get away with that crap.
Frankie: Did you hear that? Did you hear what she said?
Brick: Yeah. Why is she so mad?
Frankie: What's going on? What is wrong with people?
Frankie: [v.o.] And then it hit me. These kids have to learn to be social and deal with people. What kind of example would I be setting if I just let this - I'm just gonna say it - stupid lady get away with that comment? I had to do something.
Frankie: You know what? That woman is not gonna ruin our Halloween. We're going after her. Come on.