‘Forced Family Fun (Part 1)’
Season 3, Episode 1 - Aired September 21, 2011
With the summer almost over, Frankie wants to make the most of the few remaining days by taking the family on vacation. When Mike suggests a camping trip, memories of their honeymoon come flooding back.
Quote from Axl
Sue: Get your stinking feet out of my face!
Axl: They're not touching you! They're not touching you! They're not touching you!
Sue: Ew!
Quote from Axl
Axl: Ow. Ow, ow. Way to go, Mom and Dad! Thanks for bringing us to the jaggedy-est campsite ever.
Frankie: What is that?
Axl: What? You said to get water.
Frankie: From the vending machine, Axl. Why do you think I gave you 2 bucks?
Axl: Well, I thought you were paying me, but now I see I'm just your slave. Yes, master. [spills dirty water]
Quote from Mike
Mike: Come on, Brick. Book down. We're hitting the lake. [Brick holds a finger up] No. No finger. Come on. Let's go.
Brick: How long will this take?
Mike: I don't know, Brick. It's really up to the fish.
Brick: Why do I have to go?
Mike: Because we're camping. It's a beautiful day, and I said so.
Brick: Was it a beautiful day on your bad honeymoon?
Mike: Bad? No one said it was bad.
Quote from Frankie
[flashback:]
Mike: Rain's kinda romantic, isn't it?
Frankie: Uh-huh!
Mike: Might want to put down that metal pole. You can get electrocuted pretty bad.
[present:]
Sue: Oh, so it rained on your honeymoon? So that's why it was so bad?
Frankie: Yeah, bad, rainy honeymoon. That's it. Anyway...
Sue: Mom.
Frankie: Jeez! What are you, a cop or something? I said that's it.
Quote from Axl
Frankie: It's okay. Look, I know you may feel worried, but I'm not worried about you. I think you're gonna do great in high school.
Sue: Really? How great?
Frankie: I think... you will do as great as you always do.
Sue: But I just get the feeling it's gonna be a lot different. I mean, high school kids are a lot more mature.
Axl: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow! Bleeding. Definitely bleeding. Ow. Ow, ow.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Here. [hands Brick a fishing rod]
Brick: Now what?
Mike: Well... Now nothing. Now we sit and we wait. That's the beauty of it. Lot of people don't understand the beauty of quiet. Lot of people right in our house.
Brick: It's a lot like standing in line at the grocery store, only holding a stick.
Mike: Yeah, I guess it is.
Brick: Huh.
Mike: Yep.
[Mike takes out a pack of chewing gum and hands Brick a stick]
Quote from Brick
Brick: Whoa! What is happening? What is that? My pole is all bendy.
Mike: You got one!
Brick: Really?! I did?!
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Brick: I read about this!
Mike: Yeah. Reel it in.No, n o, no. The other way. Okay, yeah. Th-that's fine. Give a little slack, or you'll lose him. There you go. You got it! Here you go. Yes! Come here! You got him! Nice going!
Brick: Wow! A fish! Is this how fish sticks start out?
Mike: Well, not the ones we can afford.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Hey, hey. Guess who caught his first fish.
Frankie: Wow, Brick! Good goin'!
Mike: Yep. Brick kept an open mind, and now he really gets camping. Don't you, buddy?
Brick: I caught two, and Dad caught six, and then we both peed in the bushes.
Quote from Frankie
Brick: Hey, can we invite the people in the winnebago with the TV to have dinner with us?
Mike: No, Brick, this is just for us.
Frankie: Oh, sure. So now you wanna keep it to just us. Hmm.
[flashback:]
Frankie: Well... The ground's still kinda wet, but our honeymoon suite is all set. Ready to carry me over the flap?
Mike: Oh, I've been ready all day.
Frankie: What's that?
Mike: I don't know.
Frankie: Hey!
Nicky: [o.s.] Hello?
Mike: Who's there?
Nicky: [o.s.] Hello? Anybody? [to Frankie] Hey. I know you.