Donkey Doug: You did it! It took you more than 433,000 tries, but you just played the perfect game of Madden! You did it! That's my boy. That's my boy.
Jason: I did it.

Jason: That was special. I'll never forget this night. Until I walk through the door and dissolve into the universe.
Chidi: Can I ask you something, buddy? How did you know?
Jason: It wasn't like I heard a bell ring or anything. I just suddenly had this calm feeling, like the air inside my lungs was the same as the air outside my body. It was peaceful. You know the feeling when you think a jalapeno popper is gonna be too hot, but you bite into it anyway and it's actually the perfect temperature?
Eleanor: Believe it or not, I do know that feeling. That feeling rules.
Jason: There you go! Uh, can I get your advice on something? I'm scared Janet's gonna forget me. Her falling in love with someone else, I'm fine with that. Like, if Jason Momoa or if Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, gets in, and Janet's like, "That's what's up!" Totally cool, but her forgetting me would be sad, so I made her this. What do you guys think?
Chidi: It's lovely. But she's not gonna forget you, man. I mean, she literally can't. She remembers everything that ever happened.
Eleanor: Even if she could forget someone, I don't think she's gonna forget you.
Jason: Thanks.

Janet: Jason, it's okay. I'm never gonna forget you. In fact, to me, you won't even really be gone. I don't experience time the same way you do. I kind of live all times at once.
Jason: I know what you mean. Once, I smoked salvia and saw the past and the future at the same time. Then I tried to brush my teeth with my cat.
Janet: To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living in them.
Jason: Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?
Janet: There was no bad stuff. It was all good. [they kiss]

Nick Offerman: Wow. These spindles are gorgeous. And there's almost a feeling of musculature to this transition.
Tahani: The oak just sort of told me the shape before I even got to the spoke shave.
Nick Offerman: This under-bevel is a great trick. It really makes it feel lighter while leaving you plenty of beef to carve.
Tahani: It's really just a modified Danish line.
Nick Offerman: Still, you made it your own. This is as good a chair as I've seen. I have nothing left to teach you.
Tahani: Ah. Hurrah! Thank you!

Tahani: [sighs] Can I tell you something? You're my role model.
Eleanor: [snorts] Come on.
Tahani: I'm serious.
Eleanor: Babe, you were already the most impressive person I ever met, and now you can do literally everything.
Tahani: If that's true, it's because you inspired me. I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention you have a rocking bod.
Eleanor: Did you just turn the tables on me? I got nothing left to teach you.
Tahani: Janet.
Janet: [appears] Hi, there.
Tahani: One more goal to add to the list, please. ["Problematically objectify Eleanor" is added to the list] Now cross it off.

Brent: Hang on, hang on. So, you can never tell a woman to smile? What if she'd legitimately be prettier if she smiled? Aren't I helping her?

Eleanor: I think Chidi's gonna leave.
Michael: Really? Did he say he was ready?
Eleanor: He didn't say exactly that, but he's getting close. I can tell. I need to do something to shake things up, you know? Light a spark. Oh! Janet?
Janet: [appears] Hi, there.
Eleanor: Hi. I think Chidi's almost ready to walk through the door, and I need to keep him here, so, um, can you make me a bed shaped like a giant highlighter and, like, a sexy edible valedictorian robe?
Michael: No, I think this calls for something spiritual.
Eleanor: Ah, okay, but if I do this right, my man's gonna be talking to God. You know what I mean? Wait, what do you mean?

Chidi: Oh. Oh, man, Eleanor.
Eleanor: Right? We haven't been here in so long.
Chidi: Athens. Man, this city, it takes my breath away every time.
Eleanor: Talk it out, bud. Tell me everything you know about this place because, full disclosure, I didn't really listen the first time you told me.
Chidi: [laughs] Well, I mean, that's the Acropolis. Oh, and this is the Pnyx. Thousands of Athenians would gather here and listen to people discuss their city and its laws from that stage right there. This is literally where democracy started.
Eleanor: Well, that's fine and dandy, but as you may know, I'm kind of a philosophy gal. Where were the big brains hanging out?

Eleanor: What's this called again, "Koulouvi"?
Chidi: Koulouri, and I lived on these when I was here.
Eleanor: I like to picture young Chidi Anagonye here, reading, nerding out, treating himself to a koulouri, if he had an astute insight into Aristotelian virtue ethics.
Chidi: Oh, that... is accurate. That is an accurate picture of 20-year-old me. This was so special. Thank you. Should we head home?
Eleanor: Nope, because... we're not done yet. There's more special trip. Janet?
Janet: [appears] Hi, there. You enjoying your trip, Chidi?
Eleanor: Yes, we are, but it's not over yet. We are ready to head to destination number two. Remember?
Janet: Yes, of course. Head right this way.

Chidi: I used to come to this cafe every day when I lived here. I tried to sit in a different seat each time so I could eventually say that I definitely sat in the exact same place as Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Richard Wright, Brecht, James Baldwin...
Eleanor: Well, we got all the time in the world now, baby. Put that booty in a seat warmed by history.
Chidi: Eleanor, I know what you're doing.
Eleanor: Being the best eternal girlfriend ever? Guilty.
Chidi: Let's take a walk.