Eleanor: You knew about this?
Michael: Yes, yes, but there's... there's a good explanation.
Glenn: Yeah, the explanation is that's Vicky, and she's lying to you about everything. Call The Judge and we'll settle this once and for all.
Jason: Or is that exactly what you wanted us to do?
Glenn: That is what I want you to do.
Jason: Exactly.

Eleanor: Okay, explain yourself... if yourself even is yourself.
Michael: I am Michael. Shawn did call me, and I saw the Michael suit. He said if the experiment failed, he was gonna use it to make you think I was torturing you.
Tahani: Why didn't you tell us?
Michael: Because he said he would just erase your memories of me telling you, so it wouldn't matter anyway. He thought that I would crumble under the pressure.
Eleanor: But a month ago, you told me you only pretended to freak out in order to get me to step up and become a leader.
Michael: Yes, that also was a lie, but it was an inspirational one. Like, "So great running into you. We should get coffee some time," or all of Instagram.

Janet: Well, I'm done. I scooped it all up into one steaming pile of Glenn.
Jason: Maybe I can put him back together. I'm hella good at puzzles. I finished this word search in, like, 30 seconds.
[Jason holds up a world puzzle where he's circled each word on the list but not on the grid]
Janet: Jason, I feel terrible. I know he was a demon and he may have lied to us, but he didn't deserve that.
Jason: You were only trying to help us. Look, I know this is a weird time, but if you ever want to talk, just know that I'm here for you, girl.
Janet: Thanks, Jason. That means a lot. [hugs Jason]

Michael: I have a better idea. I'm gonna blow myself up.
Eleanor & Tahani: What?
Michael: I'll blow myself up. That way, you can continue the experiment with Chidi as one of the people, which is our best chance to ever be successful.
Eleanor: Why not just lock you in a room or in Janet's void or something?
Michael: But then you might worry that I'd escape. I blow myself up, I'm out of your hair for good. Well, parts of me will be in your actual hair, but you get it.
Tahani: Michael, wait.
Michael: Tahani, this is the only way. There's literally noting I can say that will make you realize that I'm really me. Oh, boy. This is gonna suck. Hopefully, I will see you all in a few months. Good luck. Oh, and make sure that you, uh, get all of me into the container, or I might come back way shorter. And that would bum me out. I wish I were saying this in different circumstances but... Take it sleazy.
Jason: Michael, wait!
[After Jason puts handcuffs on Janet, she is revealed to be Bad Janet]
Bad Janet: Oh, crud nuts.

Tahani: Jason, how did you know that was bad Janet?
Jason: Michael said there's nothing he could say that would make you realize he's really him, but Janet does have a thing she can say that does make me realize she is really not her.
Eleanor: What?
Jason: I called Janet "girl," but she didn't say, "Not a girl." The real Janet always says, "Not a girl."
Michael: [gasps] Oh, wow. That realization is the only thing that stopped me from becoming a pile of goo.

Jason: Oh, dip. This means Janet didn't dump me. Her weird sister did.
Tahani: Everything makes so much more sense. All of Janet's ideas were so counterproductive. She brought the horse monster to life. She forced me to antagonize John. She got us to doubt Eleanor's leadership skills.
Bad Janet: Oh, I was just about to launch an idea where Tahani was gonna give herself an asymmetrical haircut.
Tahani: You monster.
Bad Janet: Thank you!

Jason: Then where's real Janet?
Bad Janet: Oh, she's in the Bad Place. She's probably wiping her butt with her own butt. [laughs]
Tahani: I can't bear the idea of poor Janet down there all alone. What should we do?
Jason: I know what to do. It's like what that guy who blew up said. Shawn's a bully, and sometimes, the only thing a bully understands is punch in the mouth. I'm gonna go down there, I'm gonna punch him in the mouth, and I'm gonna get Janet back!
Eleanor: [exclaims] Oh, sounds like somebody has a plan.
Jason: Dope. Where is he? What's the plan?

Michael: You sure you can hold down the fort?
Eleanor: Not at all. You sure you can do your thing?
Michael: Nope. We'll just try our best. Right? Okay, let's go get our girl.
Jason: Not a girl.

Eleanor: Yes, because remember, every picture from tonight will have something to do with your lives on Earth, so you can get to know each other a little bit better. Okay, Blue Team, you're up.
Brent: Go get 'em, chippy.
Eleanor: Chidi, it's your turn.
Chidi: Oh. I'm a pretty decent artist, but I'm not so great under pressure.
Janet: Your time begins now.
Chidi: Ooh, boy. Okay.
Simone: You got this, Chidi.
Chidi: I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure out how to start.
Brent: Come on. Just start drawing, my brotha.
Simone: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No.

Chidi: Okay, here we go.
Simone: Uh... oh. Uh, it's a submarine.
Brent: Looks like broccoli with teeth.
Simone: Oh, oh, it's a horse with a bow on its neck. Oh, is it my childhood pony, Daisy?
Chidi: Yes!
Chidi: Oh, no. No! What have I done?
Brent: You made a freakin' Frankenstein, man.