Eleanor: Okay, why don't we just get him drunk so he starts blabbing? I mean, what goes best with pig urine?
Jason: Coconut rum.

Michael: [o.s.] Oh, no. Damn it.
Eleanor: What's going on in there?
Michael: I touched the dang diaper.
Eleanor: Get back in that room.

Eleanor: So Michael saw the suit. Big deal. I still think you're forking with us. I think this is just like when the Bad Place sent us Linda, who turned out to be some super-jacked punching guy, and just like him, you got busted.
Glenn: That's the thing. The puncher didn't get busted. It worked exactly as planned. The whole thing was a diversion to get real Michael out, and sneak the imposter in on a train. It must've happened during the handoff. While Janet was handcuffing Chris, a bunch of demons must've grabbed Michael, yanked him away, and then Vicky, in the Michael suit, walked back out. You never would've known the difference. Also, when Chris got back, I saw Shawn and him celebrating. Why would they be happy if he wasn't supposed to get caught?
[flashback:]
Shawn: Man, I love a good sabotage.
[present:]
Jason: Or is that exactly what you want us to think?
Eleanor: Motherforker. I knew there was something weird about that puncher. I said that to Michael... and he dismissed it.
Glenn: Yeah. See what I mean?

Eleanor: If Michael is just Vicky in a Michael suit, let's just take the suit off.
Jason: Yeah. Maybe we could sneak up behind him, and try and pants him from forehead.
Janet: That won't work. A demon can take his own skin suit off, but no one else can. It's like a very complicated bra.

Janet: Eleanor. Now I don't know if this will work, but theoretically, if you point it at a demon and he's lying, it'll turn red. If he's telling the truth, it'll turn green.
Eleanor: Okay. Glenn. This is a lie detector. Let us show you how it works. What's your name?
Glenn: Well, everyone calls me Glenn, but the name on my demon certificate is actually Snakes Pour Forth From His A- [explodes]
[Eleanor and Tahani scream]
Janet: Glenn blew up. Glenn blew up.
Jason: Or is that exactly what he wants us to think?

Eleanor: Hey, I didn't think anyone would still be up. Are you okay?
Chidi: Yeah, yeah, I'm just practicing drawing viable horses. Ones that aren't crimes, you know, against nature.

Eleanor: Oh. Wait, how did you pull it off? You were outside on the platform with me the whole time.
Bad Janet: We brought two bad Janets on the train, you dumb, dumb idiot. The other one distracted you on the platform while good Janet brought Chris onto the train. I snuck out, marbelized Janet, and then I took over, baby. Stupid Michael never knew. I had you fartknockers fooled for weeks, until Glenn the traitor ruined everything. That guy sucks, right? [water squelches] Shut up, Glenn.
Michael: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Bad Janets can't impersonate Good Janets. I've seen them try. Their heads melt, so...
Bad Janet: Oh. Oh, you're so smart, sir. Well, listen, here's the thing. Shawn rebooted me, like, 40 million tines. Wait, tine-him-is. Time-ses. These things rule.

Michael: Guys, we still have a problem here. You still don't have evidence that I'm actually me.
Eleanor: Sure, we do. You offered to sacrifice yourself to help a bunch of cockroaches. That's about the most Michael thing you could do.