Michael Quote #299
Quote from Michael in Tinker, Tailor, Demon, Spy
Michael: I have a better idea. I'm gonna blow myself up.
Eleanor & Tahani: What?
Michael: I'll blow myself up. That way, you can continue the experiment with Chidi as one of the people, which is our best chance to ever be successful.
Eleanor: Why not just lock you in a room or in Janet's void or something?
Michael: But then you might worry that I'd escape. I blow myself up, I'm out of your hair for good. Well, parts of me will be in your actual hair, but you get it.
Tahani: Michael, wait.
Michael: Tahani, this is the only way. There's literally noting I can say that will make you realize that I'm really me. Oh, boy. This is gonna suck. Hopefully, I will see you all in a few months. Good luck. Oh, and make sure that you, uh, get all of me into the container, or I might come back way shorter. And that would bum me out. I wish I were saying this in different circumstances but... Take it sleazy.
Jason: Michael, wait!
[After Jason puts handcuffs on Janet, she is revealed to be Bad Janet]
Bad Janet: Oh, crud nuts.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Tinker, Tailor, Demon, Spy’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Glenn: I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but shouldn't we call The Judge?
Eleanor: We're not calling anyone until we figure some things out. We have questions.
Jason: Yeah, for example, if you're a devil, how come you're not wearing Prada? [Eleanor tosses Jason a candy] [gasps] Caramel!
Quote from Michael
Michael: I just don't want to show you what's underneath here.
Eleanor: I've seen a lot of weird hogs in my life, dude. Get over yourself.
Michael: That's not it. I'm a fire squid.
Jason: Dope.
Michael: No. Not dope. I'm a 6,000-foot tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There's teeth everywhere. I'm on fire, and my neck is long. And there's a smell and lots of juice. There's so much juice, Eleanor.
Jason: I think I speak for everyone here when I say I really have to see this.
Eleanor: So you're not gonna take off your demon Spanx because you're shy? That's convenient.
Michael: Eleanor, if I take off this suit, I will crash through the roof and the entire Neighborhood will see me and the experiment will be blown. But it's more than that. You guys will never look at me the same way again. I won't just be Michael. I'll be... some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?
Jason: Yes. I keep saying.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: All right, buttheads, what do we do?
Jason: I say we trust Michael. He's our friend.
Tahani: Wait, might be our friend, or he might be a lying trickster who just looks like our friend... the classic Mary-Kate Olsen.