Rose: [loudly] We're going out now! Outside on the lanai!
Miles: [loudly] Uh, yes! Yes, here we are! [laughs] We're probably gonna sit in these chairs. Rose? Why did we do that?
Rose: Did it seem odd to you?
Miles: Well, well, yes, a little. But, hey, you're the birthday girl.

Miles: Hey, I got an idea. I'm- I'm feeling a little frisky. Did you ever make love in the out-of-doors?
Rose: Miles, no. Well, just once. Charlie and I went to St. Olaf's most romantic outdoor trysting place. Mount Pushover. But that place was sacred. Not out here, Miles.

Dorothy: You're gonna take it right back.
Sophia: Dorothy, this is a sign. Maybe I'm supposed to make a miracle. Hey, maybe this is my shot at getting into the Bible.
Dorothy: Ma, the Bible is a done deal.

Dorothy: Now, you can't keep it. We're talking about a millenniums-old symbol of the Pope's authority. Something so steeped in history and tradition that it makes even you seem middle-aged.

Sophia: That's it, I'm damned. I'll never make it to heaven to see my Sal.
Dorothy: Now, take it easy, Ma. Let's retrace your steps. What did you do when you first got home?
Sophia: Who knows? Nap on the couch, nap on the bed, nap on the lanai. I do so much, it's all a blur.

Dorothy: Then we just have to search room by room.
Sophia: It's hopeless. We'll never find it. I say we just wait and pray it turns up, say in the next day or two. What?
Dorothy: Those are the exact words you used when my gold bracelet was missing.
Sophia: So?
Dorothy: So two days later you came back from the dentist saying, "Are these fillings or are these fillings?"

Sophia: What's your point?
Dorothy: You didn't lose it, Ma. You just said you did so you could keep it.
Sophia: Absolutely not. Not in a million years. I swear on my life I don't have it.
Dorothy: Do you want me to turn you upside down and shake you?
Sophia: You're bluffing.

Sophia: I called the diocese like you told me, Dorothy. The Pope will be here any minute to pick up the ring.
Blanche: The Pope's comin' here? This is horrible. What will I wear? I don't believe I have a thing that doesn't call attention to my bosom.
Sophia: Try not wearing makeup.

Father: Good evening. I'm here about the ring.
Sophia: You're not the Pope.
Father: Well, not yet. But like they say, "You never know when the smoke will blow your way."
Sophia: You're not getting the ring.

Miles: Sweetheart, may I ask, what are you doing here? I didn't want you to see me like this.
Rose: Oh, I know. I just wanted a chance to say I love you. Oh, and there'll be no other man after.
Miles: After? After what? I'm here for my eyes.
Rose: Oh, thank God you're not going to die. Oh, and don't worry, I can be your eyes.
Miles: Oh, sweetheart, my eyes are fine. It's just the bags underneath them.
Rose: Then I can be your bags.