Dorothy: Gloria is coming here?
Sophia: I wish I knew why you two didn't get along. I just don't understand it. For some reason, you've always been jealous of my good daughter.

Dorothy: Ma, she makes me crazy. She's always putting down my way of life, my- my choice of career. She's never been there for me when I've needed her. Never. And all she ever talks about is how much money she has.
Sophia: Dorothy, there's upsetting news. She's broke. She invested all her money in junk bonds, and now she's broke.
Dorothy: She has no money?
Sophia: Not a dime.
Dorothy: Yes!

Rose: Girls, guess what? You know that Save the McKinley Lighthouse campaign I've been talking about?
Dorothy: Mmm, no.
Rose: Oh, sure you do. I've told you about it 200 times.
Dorothy: No.
Rose: Boy, it's like you people don't pay any attention to me whatsoever.
Blanche: Hey, when did you sneak in?

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, what time does Gloria's plane get in?
Sophia: Oh, she's not taking a plane.
Dorothy: Not taking a plane? Well, that's impossible. I mean, how else would she- Oh, no. Oh, no. You mean... A bus?
Sophia: She took the bus from California.
Dorothy: Yes!

Sophia: All right, knock it off. That's probably her. Now, you said you'd be nice. And don't mention she's broke.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, now why would I do that? She's my sister. Besides, I want to hear it from her mouth.

Stan: Come on, Dorothy, we better get going. After our session, I have an important dinner meeting with some investors.
Dorothy: Oh, my God, Stan, you're not taking your monkey, are you?
Stan: Please, they are Japanese investors. The last thing I would do would be to offend them. She'll be at a separate table with the other wives.

Dr. Halperin: Sorry for the interruptions, but I think every 80-year-old in the city has gone berserk.
Stan: Hey, what can you say? There are some sick people out there. Uh, by the way, uh, will my monkey be okay on my lap, or should I get a chair?
Dorothy: I have a place for your monkey, Stan.

Dorothy: Gloria, hello. We were just talking about you. How are you?
Gloria: [sobbing]
Rose: Oh, nice going, Dorothy.
Dorothy: I asked her how she was doing. I mean, it's not as if I mentioned her dead husband. [all sobbing]

Blanche: Oh, bravo! Bravissimo! Encore! Encore! Date me!
Rose: Blanche!
Blanche: Well, he was good.
Rose: He was not. He was just a man. I mean, you've said yes to all the men and you've been discriminating against the women.
Blanche: I have not. Just so happens all the women we've seen have been horrible. [Woman sings a note] Thank you!

Gloria: Right now, my life feels like one frightening gaping maw ready to consume me. Did you ever feel like that?
Dorothy: Every day. And then something changed. I made friends, I found support. And, of course, I had Ma. Frightening, gaping Ma.