Rose: Wait a minute, if you bought the ring back, how did you come up with the money?
Stan: Sold the Corvette.
Dorothy: You didn't.
Stan: Yeah, it was tough. I had some great times with that car, but the times I had with you were a hell of a lot more important.
Dorothy: Oh, Stanley.
Stan: I'm so sorry. Me too. [chuckling] I guess I finally became what I always feared most: Another middle-aged bald guy who drives a Toyota.
Dorothy: Oh, Stanley, this... This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

Blanche: Rose, honey. Let's go down to Riley's and see if we can meet some men. Come on. Come on.
Rose: Okay.
Stan: If you're taking Biscayne Blvd., would you keep an eye out for my hair? [to Dorothy] We, um, really pulled it out of the fire, didn't we, babe?
Dorothy: We sure did.
Stan: It felt nice, you and me, working as a team again.
Dorothy: It did feel nice.
Stan: Reminds me of when we were first married.
Dorothy: We sure had some good times.
Stan: So, as long as I'm here, what do you say, Babe, for old time's sake, you wanna go to bed? [pained] Dorothy! Dorothy, let go, it was a joke. You're hurting me. You're really hurting me.

Stan: How can I explain it? When I sat behind the wheel, people noticed me. People paid attention. That car was a chick magnet.
Dorothy: That is it, Stanley. That's it. Get out. Get out of my house. Get out of my life.
Stan: Dorothy, what about the audit? We can get into a lot of trouble here. We could even wind up in jail.
Dorothy: Good, good. I want you to go to jail. And I want a big bald convict named Bubba to pick you for his girlfriend.

Mr. Murray: We'll expect you each to cough up $2500 in 30 days.
Dorothy: What if we can't?
Mr. Murray: We'll just have to put a lien on your bank accounts, your property, and your salaries. And if that doesn't work, we'll just have to incarcerate you.
Stan: Oh, my God. We're going to jail. [sobbing]
Dorothy: That's right, Stanley. And please, let me know where you and Bubba register for your china.