Rose: Are you all right?
Dorothy: Oh, I'm fine, Rose. Oh, that was strange. I I've never fainted before.
Rose: Me neither. What does it feel like after you faint?
Dorothy: Like this, Rose. [slaps Rose's face]

Blanche: What are you doing?
Rose: Sending invitations for the wedding.
Blanche: Oh, well, forget about that, Rose. Do you know what we need? An Elvis impersonator.
Rose: That sounds great. I thought we'd get a new dishwasher first, but this could probably come in just as handy.
Blanche: I mean for our next club meeting, Rose. Membership has been waning. Maybe this will generate a little interest.

Rose: [toilet flushes] Is that you, Sophia?
Sophia: [o.s.] No, it's Merlin Olsen. I'm watering my forget-me-not bouquet.

Sophia: The wedding is off.
Max: What's going on? Where's Sophia?
Blanche: She's locked herself in the bathroom. She has pre-wedding jitters.
Max: Sophia? It's me, Max. Now, what's all this nonsense about not wanting to get married?
Sophia: [o.s.] Oh, Max, I love you with all my heart. The time we spent together has been some of the happiest of my life. But my Dorothy might be right. Maybe it's not possible to fall in love so quickly. Maybe it's not possible at all at our age. But it sure felt like it the other night, when we were walking along the beach, and you took me in your arms and said, "Sophia, look up at that beautiful moon. I wish I could throw a lasso around it and give it to you. That's how much I love you. And then I said, 'Darling'"
Dorothy: Ma, stop. Stop. Ma, listen, I have to talk to you.

Caterer: Who's in charge here?
Blanche: What's the problem?
Caterer: I'm the caterer. It's two o'clock. The guests are waiting. Why isn't the show on the road?
Dorothy: Ma, I know you're in there.
Blanche: The wedding is off.
Max: She doesn't approve.
Caterer: She doesn't approve? Now, look here, Stretch. I have a hundred cheese puffs and a sensitive assistant both on the verge of collapse. Whatever the problem is, overlook it. My mother did with my marriage. And if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly.
Dorothy: Listen, this is a private moment, so butt out, Rambo.

Dorothy: Ma, I have a confession to make. I came here to beg you for the last time not to get married. I didn't want you and Max together because it looked like cheating on Pop. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I still think of the two of you as being married. I didn't want Max taking Pop's place. But now that I see the two of you so much in love, I realize I was just being selfish, Ma. Ma, I want you to be happy. And I know Pop would too.
Sophia: I love you, pussycat.

Preacher: And do you, Max, take Sophia to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Max: I do.
Preacher: Then if no Elvis in this room has any objection to this union, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Elvises: [singing] I do love you With all my heart Blue skies of Hawaii smile On this Our wedding day. Uh-huh!

Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: Dorothy! [slaps Dorothy's face]
Dorothy: What was that for?
Sophia: You've been smoking.
Dorothy: I have not.
Sophia: [slaps Rose's face] Then you've been smoking.
Rose: No, I haven't.
Dorothy: Ma, it was me.
Sophia: [slaps Dorothy's face] That's for lying.

Max: We'd like to stay and chat, but we want to get settled in our new place.
Blanche: Bye-bye.
Dorothy: Bye-bye. Come back soon.
Rose: Oh, aren't they cute?
Sophia: We forgot something.
Max: We forgot to get a new place.

Sophia: Don't worry. We just need a roof over our heads for a couple of days while we look. Doesn't have to be anything fancy.
Dorothy: Girls?
Blanche: Would you all like to stay here with us?
Sophia: Here? Gee, that didn't even cross my mind.