Sophia: Everybody, this is Vincenzo.
Dorothy: Ma, who is Vincenzo?
Sophia: Who he is doesn't matter. It's who he used to be. Thirty years ago, this man was one of Italy's foremost architects, respected the world over, creator of some of Europe's most beautiful cathedrals. Isn't that right, Vincenzo?
Vincenzo: [mumbles, chuckles]
Sophia: Today, he's a pathetic shell of a man who spends all day looking up women's dresses. Relax. He doesn't speak a word of English. Watch. Vincenzo?
Vincenzo: Eh?
Sophia: You're a wrinkled old pervert, right?
Vincenzo: [laughs approvingly]

Dorothy: Wait. What does he want to charge us?
Sophia: I'll ask him. Vincenzo, quanto costa?
Vincenzo: Costa? Oh. Gratis. Gratis. [Speaking in Italian]]
Sophia: He says he'll do it for nothing. He likes getting away from the center, he likes working, and most all he likes being in the company of pretty young girls.
Dorothy: Oh, well. Since he puts it that way, how can we refuse? It's a deal.
Sophia: Good. Now here's a list of the pretty young girls he wants you to get for him.

Rose: Al, we have to talk.
Al: Can't it wait till after Moonlighting? There's a special episode on tonight. It's only been rerun three times.

Rose: Al, what has gotten into you lately? Before you retired, you were the most active man I ever knew. I had to run to keep up with you. Now you're nothing but a couch potato. You should do more, Al. You've earned it. Isn't there one thing you've always dreamed of doing?
Al: I always dreamed of retiring.
Rose: I just don't want you to wake up one day and think that you've missed the opportunity to do something great.
Al: Rose, it sounds like you're maybe just bored with me. Look, let's take a rain check on tonight, okay? I'm feeling kind of tired anyway. I'll call you tomorrow.

Blanche: Can we just get started, please?
Vincenzo: [Italian]
Sophia: First we must inspect the workers.
Vincenzo: Ah, ah. Mm-hmm. [Italian] Mm-hmm. Aha.
Blanche: Ow! He pinched me.
Vincenzo: It's a reflex. He's Italian.

Sophia: Vincenzo has a wonderful idea. He'll bring in his own crew to finish the job at no additional charge.
Vincenzo: [Italian]
Blanche: Why would he want to do it for free?
Sophia: Because he's senile as a doorknob, and stop asking questions.

Blanche: Rose, what in hell are you doing? It is 2:00 a.m.
Rose: I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get up and make a batch of sperhoven krispies. It's an ancient Scandinavian midnight snack.
Dorothy: I guess after a night of pillaging and raping, a Viking wants a little something to go with his cocoa.
Blanche: Well, they smell god-awful.
Rose: Yeah. Just when you're about to throw up from the stench, that's when they're done.

Blanche: Rose, haven't you ever done anything just wild and crazy and impetuous?
Rose: No. I'm from St. Olaf. We're forced to sign a pledge when we're 15 that we won't do any of those things. It keeps people from painting their houses silly colors.

Sophia: Thanks a lot for leaving me in the parking lot. It's not like unsavory, swarthy characters hang around the docks by night.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, there's nobody here like that.
Sophia: I know, but I gave it a minute. I thought I'd be able to line something up for you for Saturday.

Rose: There's something I want to say first. I want you to know that I am so excited about going on this trip. And I'm so happy that you chose me for this adventure. I love you, Al, and I'm ready to go anywhere with you. And the North Star can be our guide.
Al: I love you, too, Rose, but that's not the North Star. That's the tower of the all-Spanish radio station.
Rose: Fine. Much more reliable. And it doesn't disappear in the daylight.