Rose: I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to pay the rent. I can't live here anymore.
Blanche: Now, I won't hear any more of this. You will call Enrique Mas and you will get that job at the pet store that you deserve. And you will stay here with us as long as we can afford it.
Dorothy: She's right. Rose, you have to fight this.
Rose: You know, every morning, when I leave the house, I see this bag lady going through the garbage over on 135th Street. She has everything she owns piled in one of those old shopping carts. Well, the other day, for the first time, I noticed she's about our age. You know, you always feel sorry for someone like that, but I wondered, what did she do to get herself into a fix like that? I thought, well, she must be lazy. Or she must be pretty stupid to let something like this happen to her. But the truth is she's me. God, what am I gonna do?

Rose: Rose Nylund, to see Terry Franco.
Terry: Oh, hi, Mrs. Nylund. I'm Terry.
Rose: Hi. It was so nice of Mr. Mas to see me on such short notice.
Terry: I'm sorry. Maybe you misunderstood me on the phone. I'll be helping you. Enrique will get involved and put you on TV only if your age discrimination case gets really ugly and the company tries to discredit you, drag your name through the mud and make you look stupid.
Rose: I guess we can only hope.

Rose: OK, what we have to do is try these different hair-removal products, evaluate their advantages and disadvantages and see which one gets our legs the smoothest. Sophia, why don't you try the regular razor? Dorothy, would you like to try this thing?
Dorothy: What is it?
Rose: Well, that wire vibrates and it's supposed to whisk hair away from below the skin line.
Dorothy: I don't know whether I wanna use this. It says it's gonna hurt.
Rose: Well, you can try it on your right leg and then use the hot wax on your left one.
Dorothy: Why don't we just set each other on fire?

Dorothy: I remember when I started shaving. I was 13, and I wanted to shave because I was going to a movie with Alan Steckler. You remember him, Ma?
Sophia: Small head, enormous lips.
Dorothy: Anyway, Ma told me that, once I started shaving, I'd never be able to stop. I mean, she said I'd regret it for the rest of my life because my legs would have bristles.
Sophia: I was right. By the time you were 16, I could grate cheese on your knees.

Blanche: It's almost dinnertime. Now, what could be taking Rose so long at that job interview?
Dorothy: I mean, if she's taking this long, that's a good sign, isn't it? I mean, how long does it take to say no?
Sophia: What are you asking her for? She never said no in her life.

Rose: This is terrible.
Dorothy: Trick move from your checkers-by-mail partner?
Rose: No, it's from the company Charlie worked for. They've gone bankrupt and so has their pension fund. I'm not gonna be getting pension checks anymore. Well, I can't afford to live without that pension.
Blanche: Well, honey, now, let's not panic. I'm sure they can't just cut you off.
Dorothy: She's right. There has to be a good explanation. Honey, you'll call them tomorrow, everything will be fine.
Rose: Well, what if it's not? What if I can't pay my own way? What if I can't afford food? What if I have to sleep outside in some park?

Sophia: What a day. Look at this. Toothbrushes, 39 cents each. I bought four gross. Anybody in the mood to remove some plaque?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, you have almost 600 toothbrushes here. People don't use that many in a lifetime, and at your age-
Sophia: Please, I'm way ahead of you. I bought half pink, half blue, so after I'm gone, you and your brother Phil won't fight to see who gets them.
Dorothy: So that's what it feels like to be an heiress.

Blanche: Oh, I think she means that consumer reporter on Channel 8. Enrique Mas.
Sophia: That's the guy.
Blanche: Hey, that's not such a bad idea. He helps a lot of people. I believe he must be the best consumer reporter ever.
Dorothy: I didn't realize you were such a fan.
Blanche: Oh, my. Yes, Enrique Mas is a great champion of the people. Besides, he has all that gorgeous black hair. And those swarthy Latin good looks and the sexy way he rolls his r's. [rolls tongue] Enrique. Boy, I'd love to get him on a couch made out of Corinthian leather.
Dorothy: The woman has such lofty ambitions.

Rose: I'll just have to get out there tomorrow and start looking for a job.
Blanche: Be sure you dress youthfully.
Rose: How come?
Sophia: You're old.
Blanche: Let's face it, honey. Companies are not falling all over themselves to hire women your age.
Rose: I wonder why it is people don't like to hire older women?
Dorothy: Probably makes them feel uncomfortable. You know, they feel like they're bossing their mothers around. Ma, stop that! It's understandable.

Sophia: Pussycat, can you lend me $20?
Dorothy: Ma, this is the second time this week that you've come to me for money. Now, what happened to your allowance?
Sophia: Something's come up. A medical emergency. Can I have the money?
Dorothy: What medical- Ma, what's wrong?
Sophia: I think I'm pregnant.
Dorothy: What happened? The rabbit died laughing?