Rose Quote #1094

Quote from Rose in Mother Load

Rose: Therapy's a wonderful idea. Oh, I remember St. Olaf's most famous psychotherapists, the Freud brothers, Sigmund and Roy. You may have read their bestseller, "If I Have All the Cheese I Want, Why Am I Still Unhappy?"

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Features in the collection: Tales of St. Olaf.

‘Tales of St. Olaf’ Collection

Quote from Rose in Dorothy's New Friend

Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.

Quote from Rose in Older and Wiser

Rose: Well, it wasn't unnatural in St. Olaf. We not only took care of our old people, we revered them, honored them, put them on a pedestal. 'Course, that's how we got to be the broken hip capital of the Midwest.

Quote from Rose in Even Grandmas Get the Blues

Rose: Oh, good, you're home for the Festival of the Dancing Virgins. The sauce is almost ready.
Dorothy: I'm not staying for dinner tonight. There's a meeting at Mensa. That's the organization for people with high IQs like mine.
Rose: You know, in St. Olaf we had a chapter of Mensa, and across the room was Girlsa. No, wait, those were the bathrooms at St. Olaf's only Italian restaurant.

‘Mother Load’ Quotes

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I'm making dinner. What would you like to eat?
Sophia: A nice thick T-bone steak, corn on the cob, and pecan pie for dessert. Now ask me what I can chew.
Dorothy: I'll start soaking the cornflakes now.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [groans] [moans] Oh, my, my, my, my, my!
Dorothy: Why do I feel the need to bathe?
Rose: So, how was it, Blanche?
Blanche: Oh, you might as well ask me to describe the glory of the Great Smoky Mountains as they rise from the mist of a Carolina dawn.
Dorothy: They went to a sleazy motel.
Blanche: Or the colors of the monarch butterfly, spreading its wings as it emerges from the miracle of the cocoon.
Dorothy: She got him to pay for half the room.
Blanche: Or the sturdy cypress reaching heavenward, tall and mighty and proud!
Dorothy: That one I think is pretty self-explanatory.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche, honey, you okay?
Blanche: Oh, why do these things keep happenin' to me? And why do I let them keep happenin'? I'm just tired of gettin' all dressed up, lookin' gorgeous, going out, only to lose out in the end. On the other hand, I am dressed up, and I do look gorgeous, and it is gringo night at Hernando's Hacienda. Oh, but I don't think I ought to go. I'm just so vulnerable. Does anyone know how to say vulnerable in Spanish? Oh, never mind, I'll say it with my eyes. Adios. [exits]
Sophia: I said it before, and I'll say it again. Sluts just heal quicker.

Rose Quotes

Quote from Dorothy's New Friend

Rose: I remember when I was a little girl back in St. Olaf. There was this old lady who lived up the street. She never smiled. I mean, she always looked angry. The kids said she'd kill anyone who even stepped on her property. We called her Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper.
Blanche: Yeah, kids can be pretty cruel.
Rose: No. That was her name. Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper. She had it changed legally 'cause everybody called her that anyway.
Blanche: Then how come your name isn't Big Dummy?
Rose: Well, there were already three other people in town with that name. But that's beside the point. One day I got up the courage to go up to Mean Old Lady Higgenlooper and ask her why she always frowned. Well, she had been born with no smiling muscles. I pointed out that a frown is just a smile turned upside down. So from then on, whenever I'd go by, she'd stand on her head and wave.

Quote from Henny Penny - Straight, No Chaser

Blanche: This is horrible. As Big Daddy used to say, "I'm feeling lower than the rent on a burnin' building."
Rose: That's funny. I used to live in a burning building. And it was cheap. It was Charlie's and my first house. Well, scoff if you must, but it was warm and toasty. I'll never forget Charlie throwing me over his shoulder and dashing across the threshold. Oh, it was a beautiful place. Three bedrooms, two baths. Then two bedrooms and one bath. Eventually, we outgrew the place.

Quote from Till Death Do We Volley

Dorothy: I am so excited. I can't believe I'm going to see Trudy again after all these years.
Rose: Oh, I'm excited for you, too, Dorothy. That's why I want everything perfect. I'm making Scandinavia's oldest and most traditional appetizer treat: cheese and crackers.
Blanche: Cheese and crackers, Rose? Not eggs gafloofen? Ham and gunterhoggins? Pigs in a svenkabluden?
Rose: No, but you sure know how to make a girl's mouth water.