Rose: You know, Dorothy, I just thought of something. Lorraine's family's gonna be black, too, aren't they?
Dorothy: Yes, Rose. You know, you could probably make them feel welcome if you do your version of that dance that the Huxtables do at the beginning of The Cosby Show.

Dorothy: Lorraine, I'm terribly sorry.
Lorraine: That's all right. A lot of people are confused by the age difference. You see, I am 44 years old.
Rose: Wow. This is great. I was afraid we wouldn't have anything in common. We're almost the same age.
Blanche: Rose, you make her sound like an old woman. Actually, she's much closer to my age.

Sophia: What is this, a revival of Raisin in the Sun?

Michael: Grandma, this is my fiancée, Lorraine, and this is her mother and two aunts.
Sophia: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is your fiancée?
Michael: Yeah, that's right.
Sophia: You couldn't find someone your own age?
Greta: What is that supposed to mean?
Sophia: No offense. But your daughter looks like she's been around the block more times than the Good Humor Man.
Greta: Hold my purse. Those are fighting words.

Rose: Stop it, all of you. What difference does it make that Lorraine's a little long in the tooth and Michael's a skinny white boy? Can't you see they love each other? We should be celebrating, not arguing whether or not it's right. Now, what do you say we all join hands and sing a chorus of "Abraham, Martin, and John."
Greta: Is she for real?
Dorothy: Yep. Frightening, isn't it?

Rose: Oh, Dorothy's upset about Michael and Lorraine.
Blanche: Really?
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, how would you feel if your son were marrying an older woman?
Blanche: Dorothy, when my son was five years old, he nearly burned down our whole town. Since then, nothing he does upsets me. Hell, he could marry Lillian Gish, and I wouldn't care.

Rose: Blanche, how much longer do I have to have this hot towel on?
Blanche: Just be patient, Rose. When you remove this towel, you are gonna see what a dramatic difference Blanche's miracle beauty treatment has made already. Honey, you will be transformed into a totally new woman. Okay, you ready?
Rose: Uh-huh.
Blanche: All right. One, two, three!
Rose: Oh, my God. I look horrible. [turning around] Oh, Dorothy, it's you.
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry. I forgot it was a full moon.

Lorraine: Hello. You must be Michael's mother.
Dorothy: And you must be Lorraine's mother. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow.
Michael: What do you think, Ma? Is she beautiful?
Rose: Ooh, wow. He's really getting along great with his future mother-in-law.
Blanche: Rose, that's Lorraine, you idiot.

Dorothy: We can't let them go through with it.
Blanche: Dorothy, they're adults. Adults can do whatever they want to.
Rose: Not necessarily. Adults aren't allowed to ride the little horsey in front of the A&P.

Dorothy: Blanche, what are you doing?
Blanche: I'm panting, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Is the UPS man wearing his tight overalls again?
Rose: Stop the watch.
Dorothy: Oh, come on now, what is going on? Why are you guys on this sudden exercise kick?
Blanche: The Harlan twins asked Rose and me to spend next weekend with them.
Rose: Cruising in the Bahamas.
Dorothy: Oh. So you're trying to lose weight.
Rose: Oh, more than lose weight, Dorothy. We're giving ourselves a total makeover. I'm in charge of fitness. Blanche is in charge of beauty.
Dorothy: Who's in charge of distracting the twins while the two of you have your swimsuits on?