Sophia: Rose, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna miss ya. Your laugh, your smile, your St. Olaf stories... OK, I'm over it now.

Dorothy: Gee, Ma, I think it's nice how things are working out for Rose and Miles.
Sophia: Well, it had to happen sometime, Pussycat. [doorbell rings] Rose found a man. And pretty soon, Blanche will find a man. And before you know it, you- You should buy a parakeet or something.

Dorothy: Gladys. Honey, how are you?
Gladys: Fine, Dorothy. Is your mother home?
Dorothy: Uh... [Sophia waves her arms] No, I can't say that she is.
Gladys: I've been trying to call, but she keeps hanging up on me. You sure she isn't home?
Dorothy: No... I still can't say that, no. Would you like to leave a message?
Gladys: Oh, I don't know. I just wanted to apologize.
Sophia: What took you so long?
Dorothy: Ma, when did you get in?
Sophia: Oh, Dorothy, grow up.

Blanche: I am never shopping at Fiedler Brothers again.
Dorothy: I beg your pardon?
Blanche: It's a little late for that. I've never been so humiliated in my life.
Dorothy: What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy on his mail route?

Blanche: It seems that before I returned the dress, I was so busy putting the price tags back on, I neglected to remove the dry cleaning tag. Not only did they refuse to take the dress back, the store manager had the gall to accuse me of being dishonest.
Dorothy: That's terrible, Blanche. If I were you, I'd take my dishonesty elsewhere.
Blanche: They made me pay. $300 for a dress I didn't even want.
Dorothy: Blanche, it's only fair. You tried something crooked, and you got caught. Now you're gonna have to scrimp and cut corners and find some way to pay for it.
Blanche: I already have. The rent increases go into effect tomorrow. All except Sophia.
Dorothy: Why not her?
Blanche: The rent increase was her idea.
Sophia: So I'm the one musketeer. I'll make new friends.

Rose: You won't believe the horrible thing I just heard on the radio.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, we go through this every time. "This is merely a test. In the event of an actual emergency..."
Rose: No, the news! I was just listening to the news, and The Cheeseman isn't dead.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: A coroner's investigation proved that Moran staged the whole thing.
Blanche: He's alive? And he knows that Miles is seeing Rose, and Rose knows me, and they always hold the prettiest one hostage. Oh, if I could just do something to make myself less attractive.
Sophia: Try soap and water.

Miles: I don't know where the government's gonna move us, but all I do know is everything's gonna be fine as long as the two of us are together.
Rose: I can't believe this is happening. Maybe we better try Springfield. He'd never find us in Springfield.
Miles: Which Springfield?
Rose: Aha!

Miles: Rose, it's just too risky, for us and for them.
Rose: Oh, Miles. This is an impossible decision. Oh, I love you so much.
Miles: Rose, I love you, too.
Rose: But I also love my friends and my family, and the thought of leaving... I'm sorry.
Miles: All right. I understand.
Rose: Oh, I'm gonna miss you, Miles.
Miles: Rose, there won't be a day I won't be thinking about you. Goodbye Rose, darling. You take good care of her, ladies.
Rose: Miles, your poetry book.
Miles: Keep it, and when you read page 73, think of me. [exits]
Rose: "And when to the heart of man, was it ever less than a treason, to bow and accept the end of a love or of a season?"

Sophia: So, are you reading from a prepared statement, or are you feeling cocky enough to wing it?
Gladys: I came because I was thinking, at our age, the last thing you say to somebody might be the last thing you say. So I just want you to know that I'm sorry, Sophia. I want to take you to the concert.
Sophia: Buby.
Gladys: Faccia bella.
Sophia: Dorothy, learn from this. This is what friendships are built on: loyalty, mutual respect, trust. Give me my ticket. What? Gladys, you yutz. These aren't for Tony Bennett. They're for Tony Martin.
Gladys: Of course they're for Tony Martin. You think I'd camp overnight for tickets to Tony Bennett?
Sophia: Tell you what, sweetheart. Take Milton. Have a swell time. Only this time, don't throw your underwear on the stage.
Gladys: Then why go?
Sophia: Oh, why couldn't they put Tony Bennett and Tony Martin on the same bill? Ah, who am I kidding? There will never be another Woodstock.