Rose: Oh, you'll never guess what I found!
Dorothy: Judge Crater.
Rose: Cookies and cream ice cream, my favorite.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. We're eating dessert. We can't start with dessert. We better have something to begin with.
Rose: Sure. You can have some lemon chicken and smoked ham. It's all prepared.
Blanche: Oh, let's just start with appetizers.
Rose: That's fine.
Dorothy: How about smoked oysters?
Blanche: Oh, good.
Rose: Ohh, you'll never guess what I found!
Dorothy: Jimmy Hoffa.

Blanche: With me, the minute it goes in my mouth, I balloon up. I can go out to dinner, and in the middle of the meal, my pants are cutting off my circulation so bad, my feet are turning blue.

Rose: That first time, did you have..?
Blanche: Are you serious? Why, many times that first time. Many, many times!
Rose: You did?
Blanche: You didn't?
Rose: No! Oh, it was nice. Being near Charlie was nice. But it was five years before I knew what made your eyes go back in your head.

Sophia: I thought he belonged to the other one.
Blanche: Well, I'm sure Rose won't mind one bit.
Sophia: He's a man. It's not like sharing a yogurt.

Dorothy: Honey, did Barry call?
Blanche: Not that I know of.
Dorothy: We're supposed to go out again.
Blanche: Sounds like lunch went well.
Dorothy: Oh, we had such fun. You know, Barry is exactly as I remembered.
Blanche: Come on, now. After 35 years, there must have been some surprises.
Dorothy: Well, a few. You know, his hair's a little thinner, he's put on a little weight.
Blanche: But is he still your fantasy lover, or has the fantasy become a reality?
Dorothy: Well, not exactly. You see, Barry Glick is gay.
Sophia: I knew he was gay. I could tell by the way he used to worship Buster Crabbe.
Blanche: Oh, honey, are you just devastated?
Dorothy: Oh, hey, what the hell? I mean, if I can't have him, at least I know no other woman can have him, either.

Dorothy: Hey, are we to assume from your cheerful demeanor that we are talking to a new hospital administrator?
Rose: Not even close!
Blanche: Oh, what did you do, take an anti-depressant?
Rose: Oh, don't be silly. But I was depressed, incredibly depressed. I didn't know which way to turn or where to go, so I stopped in at the coffee shop at the Fountain Rock for a root beer float to make me feel better. They make the most terrific root beer float. They have that old fashioned root beer...
Dorothy: Now look, Rose, get off the float. Just get to the point.
Rose: Well, after I drank it, I started to get sad again, and then I saw the answer right in front of me.
Dorothy: What, what?
Rose: A "Help Wanted" sign.
Blanche: Oh?
Dorothy: And, and?
Rose: I am a waitress at the Fountain Rock Coffee Shop! Twelve hours a day, four days a week, minimum wage and tips, and a 60% employee discount on day-old Danish.

Rose: It's terrible, just terrible. I am so upset!
Dorothy: Rose, Rose. Honey, sit down. Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Ma, would you get Rose some water?
Sophia: What is she gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, "Thank God, the water's here!" Call me when dinner is ready.

Dorothy: Hello.
Milton: Hello.
Dorothy: I'm Dorothy.
Milton: Milton.
Dorothy: Oh, pleased to meet you, Milton.
Milton: Likewise.
Dorothy: I live here.
Milton: Oh.
Dorothy: You don't.
Milton: I live over on Dorado.
Dorothy: Ah.
Milton: It's about a 20-minute walk but I usually take the bus.
Dorothy: Are you waiting for one now?
Milton: No, I'm learning to get in touch with my emotions.
Dorothy: Tell me, will it take long? You know, you're reading my Newsweek.

Rose: Oh, Dorothy, I see you met Milton.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. We were just getting acquainted. Dump him, Rose. He's driftwood.
Rose: Oh, no, Dorothy. Milton's from the center. His partner ran off with his wife and all the money from the business.
Dorothy: Oh, Milton, I'm sorry. Keep the Newsweek.

Sophia: Here, phone messages.
Rose: Oh, thank you, Sophia.
Sophia: If you have to go out tomorrow, ask those crybabies not to call during The Young and the Restless.